Healing takes time. It’s a practice. It’s a dedication to unlearning and new learning ways of doing things. It’s a mindset shift, a way of practicing new ways of talking to yourself and others. Part of the healing process is knowing that it’s okay to have boundaries, and it’s okay to go against the grain, and it’s okay to take the time to make decisions about what you need—not what you think you’re supposed to do or say or be. Healing is not about ripping the bandaid off so that the wounds can easily breathe, but rather taking the time to put disinfectant ointment on every night so that you don’t get an infection. It’s the start of stepping into what it means to take care of yourself.
Wisdom comes with years and years of learning. It’s taking the time to go to school and knowing that you still must have the insight to continue to learn long after you leave the classroom. It’s grasping that even when you think that you know it all, there is always something else to learn. It’s being unafraid of changing your opinion when you’re presented with new information. It’s honoring the wisdom and the wonder and the knowledge that comes from the pages of a book while still understanding that some of the greatest lessons you’ll hold onto in life will come from doing. Doing things wrong, doing things right, and doing things in a way that makes you want to pour the best of yourself into the ones you love and the world around you.
The kind of love that lasts, the type of love that sticks to your soul like glue and fundamentally changes the human you are and the life you lead, takes time. It takes time to grow beside and with a person. It takes time to learn how to live in harmony. It takes time to build a relationship that can withstand the tests of time. It’s choosing one another every day. It’s listening without ego when the other person has something to say. It’s finding beauty in both the shadows and the light. The kind of love that lasts, the type of marriage where two people are still madly in love with one another forty-something years later, is something you build. And building something always takes time.