Yaroslav Shuraev

All I Need Is One Life-Changing Conversation With God

The best conversation I had in my 39 years of existence was one that does not require much talking. 

It’s hard for a talker like me to listen, meditate, and pay attention to what my ears can’t hear and my mind can’t reach.

Have you ever had that conversation before?

One that makes your heart stay at rest and your mind wander through the highest zone of serenity and bliss. One that is usually done in a quiet or private space I can occupy far from any slight distraction.

 Whenever God tells me, “Hush! Keep quiet or you will miss what I am going to show you,” I feel so impatient and started acting based on how I perceive things. I love to react. This is a mistake, which obviously I regret after.

I feel that I can talk to God out loud or even in my quiet moments, whichever feels most effective to me. There were times when I struggled in communication. My brain seem foggy and the wires seem disconnected when I am desperate to be enlightened. I find myself singing hymns of song because that is the only way I can express words that continue to tear me up inside. I don’t always get an immediate response. I get the “in due time,” and God has a way of surprising me with blessings at the most unexpected time or place.

One question that has been lingering in my mind was “Where does God want me to be?” He has been with me every step of the way, but I cannot figure out where He wants me to be. I get stuck. I’m leaning towards a new path, but each time I move, I get stuck again.

Yes, I am losing sight of my direction and the compass I have does not clearly point where exactly I need to go. It is sad—truly, it is.

I feel like a pilgrim who needs to leave the outside world and seek some spiritual guidance only God knows.

I miss this kind of conversation that makes you wish it will never come to an end. The kind of talk that overwhelms your heart once tears start rolling down your cheeks. 

I don’t need to drink a cup of coffee right now. The uncertainties of tomorrow brings confusion and caffeine will make things worse.

 All I need is that one life-changing conversation with God.

I don’t know about others, but I want to hear the sound of God’s voice. I want to hear God calling my name when I wake up in the morning, in the middle of the night, or at least recognize His whisper when I go to bed at night. I want to sit in His presence and be surrounded with the unshakable truth of knowing God’s immense power can save me from all the harshness that this world brings. 

I finally asked God where He wants me to be. I did not get a direct response from Him. I strongly believe that God teaches valuable lessons and he will show you what you need to learn in due time.

If the wind blows me off and I can no longer adjust my sail, I’ll stand by. Sometimes, floating can be a good thing. I’ll just float and let nature take its course. 

I will float and let my heart flow until I get a chance to have a moment with God.

One meaningful and heartfelt conversation—that’s all I need.