All The Women That I’ve Been

I’ve been that woman, the one who thinks constantly giving to everyone around her and not being ‘needy’ is a strength and the way a woman ‘should’ be.

I’ve been the woman who resented other women who somehow seemed to know intuitively how to get their needs met in a relationship when I could not.

Then there’s the woman with no voice who silently blinks back the tears as someone she loves makes cutting jeering remarks at her expense for the entertainment of himself and others and who then weeps later in private. Yeah, I’ve been her too.

I’ve been that woman, the one who thinks ‘self-care’ is frivolous and vain, who believes that it’s selfish and takes away from others who are in her care.

I’ve been the woman who had no clue how to receive a compliment, who self-deprecated and awkwardly threw the gift back in the face of the giver, completely unaware of the selfishness of that act.

And there’s the woman who settled in a passionless relationship for many years, channeling her own passion into service to others in order to make her own life feel tolerable, distracting herself from her own desires—I’ve been that woman too.

I’ve been that woman, the one who never experienced an orgasm until she was in her forties, the one who believed self-pleasure was wrong and never touched her own body lovingly.

I’ve been the woman who allowed her lover to humiliate and hurt her for fear that, if she spoke her truth, he would leave her.

I’ve been that woman who didn’t know how to say ‘NO’!

I’ve been that woman, the one who fell in love with someone’s potential and believed with all her heart that if she just loved them enough, inspired them enough, and showed them how enough, that they would finally see what she saw in them, grow, and BE that—until she finally realized that she could not change them.

I’ve been the woman who fell for someone’s lies because she WANTED so badly for them to be who they said they were, rather than trusting her own inner knowing and what her own body was telling her—and who eventually paid the price.

I’ve been that woman who said, “I’ve learned that lesson… never again!” and then fell for the same shit, different words again. Yeah, I’ve been that woman too.

I’ve been that woman…the one who finally stood with a trembling body and shaking voice, declaring, “I will no longer allow…!”

I’ve been the woman who dared to defy the expectations of others, redefine the role and path she was born into, and reclaim her pleasure, her power, and her passion as she fell in LOVE with herself!

And then there’s that woman who declared her FREEDOM to love whomever she chooses, and to do so in whatever expression of sacred love and passion she desires with them in this precious Dance of Life!

YES, I’ve been her too!

All of these women, I was them. I AM them. They are ME.

I am YOU—you are me.