Avoiding Your Struggles Is Not The Same As Overcoming Them
Far too often, people confuse suppressing their adversities with addressing them. We as humans HATE to feel pain because it’s uncomfortable, so we avoid it at all costs. In the short term, this bandaid solution benefits us and allows us to feel short-lived relief, but usually, it’s the avoidance that causes us the most pain and suffering in the long run.
The hard truth? Until you learn how to sit with the discomfort of working through your hardships head-on instead of running away from them, you’ll never fully heal yourself. Sounds scary, I know. And it is, but you can and will overcome your struggles. Here are some words of wisdom that will help you come back home to you when you’ve lost all hope in the process of healing yourself.
1. You can’t control the things that have happened to you, but you CAN control the way you react to them
It’s hard to take a step back without trying to regulate every outcome, mitigate every misstep and avoid every obstacle, but it’s crucial to put faith and trust in yourself and the universe to provide you with solutions WITHOUT trying to control them yourself, because this is precisely where true healing begins.
2. Your past does not define who you are, it prepares you for who you will be
At times it can be easy to become hung up on the things that have happened in your past and regret the things that have happened to you. But truth be told, it’s the experiences you resent the most that have shaped you into the resilient person that you are today and will continue to shape the unstoppable force that you will be in your future for years to come.
3. You are stronger than you think
Take a look back at the person you were two years ago… five years ago… even 10 years ago. Reflect on where you were then and where you are now. Look back at all the things you’ve accomplished, the hardships you’ve endured, and the roadblocks you’ve overcome. Things you once thought you’d never overcome are now mere memories of your past. You’ve conquered your most difficult days, and you’ll continue to dominate more.
4. The most important relationship you have in life is the one you have with yourself
Oftentimes we focus on feeling fulfilled, adequate, and validated in our relationships with others, but then overlook the one we have with the most important person: ourselves. Something that’s so underrated and undervalued is the relationship we have with ourselves. We forget to show ourselves the same patience, compassion, and kindness that we show others, but when you begin to truly love yourself and accept yourself for who you are, you’ll unlock a level of peace and gratitude like never before.
5. Healing is never a linear journey
Healing isn’t a straightforward journey, and it’s often filled with many ups and downs along the way. Struggling is never easy, and inevitably the goal is to alleviate the suffering as quickly as possible, but this just isn’t realistic or an effective way to fully heal yourself.
6. Even the smallest shift in perspective can bring the greatest healing
One of the most important parts of healing is learning to take the process one day at a time, one step at a time. When you take small steps in the right direction, these steps compound exponentially when applied over a longer period. So instead of focusing on a year down the road, focus on the day ahead of you and what you can do to make today the best day possible.
7. Your triggers are nobody’s obligation to manage but your own
A little tough love… Your healing is nobody else’s responsibility but your OWN. If you’re becoming upset, restless, or uneasy over something someone says or does, this is an indicator that there’s something you need to personally work through. Instead of playing the blame game, take a moment to recognize why these negative feelings are manifesting for you so you can address them and overcome them.
9. You can’t fill from an empty cup
Above all else, if you can take only one thing away from this article, let it be that you have the capability, strength, and courage to overcome anything and everything life throws at you.
All of these things will take time, and will require you to take continuous tiny steps in the right direction to get there, but you will get there. And by learning to empower yourself, be patient with yourself, and audaciously love yourself, you’ll truly unlock the key to healing yourself.