Be Careful Not To Make These 10 Common Mistakes When Choosing A Life Partner

“Choosing someone they think they should be with instead of someone they’re actually compatible with. I feel a lot of people have a picture in their head of who they think they’ll end up with and chase that ideal, instead of acknowledging their own personality and aiming for someone compatible with that. Easier said than done, but yeah.” — Viminia7

“Not discussing big life issues: your preference for having kids, parenting styles, deep religious beliefs, career aspirations, significant traumas…anything that may affect how you make decisions together later on.” — AwkwardFortuneCookie

“Having children with them before really getting to know the person. It’s important to know who those children will be exposed to. Many people are on their best behavior early on. And in a short period of time you likely haven’t seen how they handle a difficult situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know some people got someone pregnant or got pregnant super early into dating or whatever and it worked out. It’s just risky as hell.” — paul_rudds_drag_race

“Everybody’s got differences in opinion, a host of red flags, personal issues, etc… The biggest mistake is ignoring these things and not having a frank discussion about how to talk about them going forward. If you want to make marriage a lifelong commitment, you have to be comfortable airing differences and discussing differences of opinions without it becoming a blowout. The biggest factor in an enduring relationship is being able to find a path between differences of opinion. This takes give and take from both sides and mutual respect to ensure each other’s needs are being met. Relationships are fucking hard. It takes a lot of frank discussion as the years pass to get past the hard stuff. Make sure you are able have the difficult discussions with your partner before making the commitment to start a family. Once there’s children involved, you will be negotiating with that person for the next 20+ years… whether you stay together or not!” — Gnascher

“Going in thinking you can change or fix them. Never works, and is a pretty crappy way to view someone you want to spend your life with.” — kyryss5510

“The two of us would admit, years after our divorce, that we pretty much liked each other only because the other one gave us any attention whatsoever. It didn’t matter that we were on different wavelengths on almost everything in life. It didn’t matter that we had to go to couples counseling even before the wedding. It didn’t matter that we fought quite a lot. What mattered was that she gave me the time of day, and I returned that to her. Neither of us had any other romantic prospects, for a long time, so the fact that ANYONE was willing to be in the same room with me, was enough for me to say, ‘Let’s spend our lives together.’ Don’t fall in love with BEING in love.” — whomp1970

“Getting married because all your friends are doing it, or because it would make your parents happy.” — miurabucho

“Prioritizing looks instead of asking if they are the type of person who will help you when you most need it, or will they run.” — asset2891

“Not discussing goals, boundaries, or waiting beyond the honeymoon phase.” — PlanktonOk4846

“Focusing too much on the love. Love is necessary for a great relationship, but love alone is not enough. You need to be compatible in many ways.” — Whatmeworry4