7 Concrete Signs You Have ‘Relationship Anxiety’ (Even Though You Have A Loving Partner)

Relationship anxiety is a type of anxiety marked by constant worrying and doubt surrounding a (usually) healthy relationship.

Like any other type of anxiety, relationship anxiety will manifest in various ways depending on the individual experiencing it. That said, there are some tell-tale signs of relationship anxiety.

Here are seven red flags you are experiencing relationship anxiety.

1. You have an anxious attachment style.

Your attachment style plays a huge role in your relationships. According to attachment theory, there are four main types of attachment styles:

• Secure attachment
• Avoidant attachment
• Anxious attachment
• Disorganized attachment

Those with an anxious or avoidant attachment style may experience relationship anxiety more than other attachment styles. This may be due to fear of the relationship ending (anxious attachment) or about the commitment in general (avoidant attachment).

2. You’re always doubting the relationship.

You are absolutely plagued by doubt when it comes to your relationship. You’re constantly doubting that your relationship has long-term potential or that your partner really likes you as much as you like them.

While people without relationship anxiety will experience doubts about their partnerships from time to time, those with relationship anxiety are fixated on the doubt. It occupies most of their thoughts about the relationship overall (even if the relationship is going well).

3. You need constant reassurance.

Needing constant reassurance from your partner may indicate relationship anxiety. For example, you may seek reassurance of their feelings for you through constant texting or affirmations that they still like you as much as they did four minutes ago and aren’t going to leave.

4. You sabotage the relationship.

Sabotaging the relationship may be a sign of relationship anxiety. According to Healthline, sabotaging behaviors such as picking fights, pushing your partner away, and testing your partner’s boundaries may be the result of relationship anxiety because you may (albeit unintentionally) use their reactions as evidence they still care. For example, if they continue to stick around no matter how much you push them away, you’ll take this as proof they do want to be with you.

5. You’ve had bad experiences in your past relationships.

Having bad experiences in former relationships can lead to trust issues in your current relationship. These bad experiences may include cheating, sudden breakups, or a generally toxic dynamic.

6. Even though you truly love your partner, you tend to withdraw from them, especially when you’re feeling scared about the relationship.

You love your partner. You want to be with them. They’re absolutely wonderful. And yet, whenever you start to feel anxious about the relationship, you shut them out.

While withdrawal is a sign of relationship anxiety, without clear communication, your S.O. may start overthinking your distance and think you’re just not that into them. It can be detrimental to relationships.

7. You struggle with low self-esteem.

Having self-esteem issues may cause relationship anxiety because you may assume your partner sees all of the things you believe to be “wrong” with you, too. According to Healthline, this is a type of projection that often contributes to feelings of relationship anxiety.

If you struggle with relationship anxiety, please know you are not alone and there are solutions and help available. Be open and honest with your partner about your anxiety and consider talking to a therapist about your relationship anxiety.