Even The Bible Says To Avoid Toxic People

There’s this common misconception that Christians are supposed to just silently and cheerfully take bad treatment from people. This couldn’t be further from the truth. The more I learn about the Bible, the more I realize how relevant the morals still are to this day. While certain ritualistic laws, such as sacrificing a lamb and putting tassels on clothing no longer apply, moral laws have remained extremely important.

Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

Our friends influence us far more than we realize. Even the smallest of bad habits can impact us. For example, if we have an alcohol problem and have decided to embark on the journey of sobriety but our friends still drink, it is going to be difficult to accomplish the goal. Terrible friends will actively encourage us to partake in the habit that we are trying to eliminate and these people should be cut off immediately. However, we should even take heed of those who still partake in the habit we are trying to destroy. The fact that our own friends are still doing those things may eventually make us question whether or not said action is actually that bad. We may eventually decide that our reasons are too extreme or too unreasonable because we see that our friends are doing it. Our actions are inherently our decision, but that doesn’t mean our friends can’t still impact us.

There are also more serious things like integrity issues. If our friend is cheating on tests, calling out of work just to hang out with friends, doing assignments for others, or various other integrity issues, we should encourage them to do what is right. Honesty and integrity are critical character traits that we need to look for in friends. Although it may not seem like a big deal if a friend tells a little lie now and then, this will eventually erode the trust that we have for them. How will we ever know that they wouldn’t do something similar to us? In addition, people who know that this person has a habit of lying and cheating won’t be able to trust us to do what’s right, because as the saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together.” It would be wise to let them know that their actions are wrong and give them time to recognize the issues with what they are doing. The same goes for things like disrespecting others. However, if you know your friend is cheating on their partner or abusing someone, it is important to end that friendship as soon as you see no remorse in their hearts.

The popular idea says that as long as your friend isn’t doing anything to you specifically, you shouldn’t end that friendship. I think this is a very self-centered mindset that ignores the bigger picture of morality. By holding your friends accountable to do the right thing, you are not declaring moral superiority, you are holding them to a basic standard of what right and wrong is. Very few things are black and white in life, but intentionally harming others or screwing them over, even indirectly, is just plain wrong.

Matthew 18:15-17 “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that `every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

Anyone who says the Bible tells you to just “turn the other cheek” to someone who is treating you badly clearly wants you to sacrifice your own self-respect. The Bible explicitly says that if someone does you wrong and you communicate multiple times, you have every right to cut them off if they are too stubborn to fix their problematic ways.

Although the Bible doesn’t say other people are obligated to cut this person off, I personally think they should if they know what this person is made of. If your best friend hangs out with someone who treats you badly just because your best friend doesn’t have a problem with that person, wouldn’t you feel betrayed? Would you question if your best friend’s loyalty and respect lie with you? Your best friend can do whatever they want, but you also have the obligation to respect and honor yourself. By staying friends with someone who doesn’t stand up for you, you show them that you are not someone to be respected and that bad morals are acceptable. Morals are what help society function properly. It’s because of bad morals that our society has things like racism, war, trauma, among other things. Being friends with someone endorses their character. It may be difficult to put our morals above our friends, but we have to realize that as long as we are walking according to what is right and honorable, people who don’t share the same values are not good people to have in our lives. If we don’t hold everyone accountable to do the right thing and be a good person, our world will never get better.