We’re often so busy looking for the red flags that prove a person isn’t right for us that we end up ignoring all those cute little green flags that show us we’re on the right track. There are clear signs that a relationship is on track, but they’re often small and quiet. Want to know if you’re in one of those fairy tale relationships? Are you the right people for each other? A TikTok therapist has some of the easy-to-miss green flags for relationships, and they’re super subtle. Read on to see if your relationship is one of the good ones.
Above, @therapyjeff gives his list of subtle relationship green flags that you should be looking out for. Jeff has been using his TikTok to help people work on themselves and find better partners. He currently has nearly one million followers and over 17 million likes. Here’s what he says are five big green flags to watch for:
1. You start acting like each other.
This is called “self other overlap” in psychology. If you start noticing that you’re using the same slang and mannerisms as your partner, and vice versa, it shows that you both have a deep level of empathy for each other. Sure, it might be annoying the crap out of your mutuals that you both now act like each other, but who cares? You two are cute as hell.
2. You’re not bored when you do nothing together.
When a relationship isn’t comfortable, long stretches of silence can feel interminably anxiety-inducing. You’re trying to fill the silence because otherwise you don’t know what to do with yourselves. The green flag equivalent of this is being able to spend hours together doing absolutely nothing and you’re not bored or anxious. Just the companionship is enough for you two.
3. You get them things when they don’t even ask.
You’re out at the store and see their favorite candy and decide to grab it for them. They didn’t ask, and you didn’t set out to get them anything. But when you think of them when they’re not around, remember what they like, and don’t even think twice to get it for them, it’s a great green flag. Of course, it’s even better if they do this for you as well.
4. You can playfully tease them today about a fight that happened yesterday.
All relationships have fights. It’s not an inherent red flag if you guys have the occasional blow-up. The green flag happens the day after a fight. Rather than holding onto the animosity you had the day before, you can both joke about it. This shows that you’re both mature enough to move on from whatever was bugging you. You love each other, and no small fight will stand in the way.
5. You feel grounded when you’re with them.
Any anxiety or stress you have seems to melt away when you’re together. You can finally exhale all the negativity away because you know you’re in a safe space. This is one of the most subtle yet best relationship green flags. If something is going wrong in your relationship that you haven’t even noticed yet, this kind of comfort is one of the first things to go.