Forever Is A Long Time To Be Left Wondering ‘What If?’

You can’t make someone love you, nor can you make someone admit that they love you. 

That has been one of the hardest truths to accept in my 30 years on this earth. No matter how much you might love someone and how deeply you care for them, you cannot control who and how they love. We all have that one person we swore would never leave us; maybe this is the one who got away or the almost relationship that always felt like so much more than the giant question mark they put in between you two. In your head, it all seemed so obvious, so effortless; everything could have been perfect if they would have just admitted that they loved you. But oftentimes, the scenarios we create in our heads are vastly different from our reality. 

The truth is that you will love people who will not love you back. Sometimes, we can get lost in who we think someone is, rather than taking the time to understand who they really are. We often paint these perfect pictures of people without taking their own wants and needs into consideration. Once we realize that these perfect visions are anything but that, we desperately grasp for any shred of hope that might come our way. We convince ourselves that their lack of interest in us is just them having a bad day. We convince ourselves that if we just hold on a little bit longer, they will finally realize we are everything they have ever wanted. We convince ourselves that we are the problem, and they are the solution we are craving. We do everything we can to blame ourselves and the world around us, yet so often, the truth is that we are just not what they are looking for. You will not be for everyone and that can be the sole reason why a relationship just isn’t working out. There doesn’t have to be anything wrong with either of you; some people are just not meant to be. Loving someone who does not love you back is painful, but letting go of them means that you can finally open the door for the one who has been waiting to love you. 

And what about those people who we know deep in our core love us, yet we are still waiting on them to finally admit it? If and when they are ready, they will tell you. The sad truth is that I don’t think some people will ever be ready. Sometimes, our heart knows what we truly want, but the circumstances aren’t in agreement. Maybe the risk is too high to let the truth out or we are simply too afraid of what comes next. Whatever the reason might be, you owe it to yourself to find someone who doesn’t hesitate when it comes to loving you. You deserve someone who is sure of their feelings for you. You deserve someone who wants to be with you just as much as you want to be with them. You deserve all of the love you give to others. Even if it hurts to leave them behind, know that somewhere out there, someone is ready to be the love you have been waiting for. 

You can’t love someone into loving you, and you can’t love someone into being honest with you. You don’t have to wait around forever for someone who may never be ready. 

Forever is a long time to be left wondering what if.