Here’s How To Take Care Of Yourself When You’re Mentally Drained

The last time I remember being this tired was when I was working before and after school when I was 16 while participating in almost everything that was made available to me. I also remember the day I crashed. I dropped AP Biology, signed up for Arts and Crafts, quit my morning job, and called my mom’s ex-partner to excuse me from school. I went home and slept for three days. Presently, I am back in that level of exhaustion, and much like 12 years ago, it is the result of choices I have made. The problem is, I like all the things I have been saying yes to. I have wanted to say yes. For each yes, there have been numerous no’s. Alas, I am tired, and I imagine you might be too. So, how do we address a sleepy, foggy adult with love? Through accountability, observation, and humor.

Accountability

When I am tired I stop doing the daily practices that I know keep me well. From there, I stop thinking as clearly about what I consume. Things go a bit foggy and I stop keeping my space organized. Then I stop going outside for walks and reading. This domino feeds into how simultaneously frantic and tired I feel. 

When we overextend ourselves, we exhaust ourselves. When we are exhausted, we are less likely to do the things that energize us and so on and so forth until we intervene. When you are tired, hold yourself accountable to the things you know you need to do to feel like yourself. Have long, medium, and short versions of your routines so you are less tempted to give them up altogether. Hold yourself accountable to the limits you set for yourself. If you say you are going to leave the gathering at 1 a.m. because you have to be up early, then ask Siri to set a timer and leave when it dings. In times of sleeplessness, it is important to lovingly show yourself that you will keep promises to yourself. Maybe you can’t cook three meals at home this week, but can you cook one? 

Observation

Sometimes, it is worth it to have stretches of exhaustion. Sometimes, even when it isn’t worth it, it is still necessary. I ask that you observe yourself in these times. Keep a journal and notice how you act, how you interact with the people you love, and how you feel. This observation is not meant to shame you. Rather, it will serve as a reference so you can catch yourself and be proactive in taking care of yourself when you see a bout of great tiredness on the horizon. Observe what works for you and what doesn’t when you haven’t made time for rest. Have a plan in place, and rely on the accountability above. 

Humor

My current state of exhaustion is because I have committed myself to too much. If I were to make rest the main focus of my life right now, I would miss out on things that are important to me. Sure, it is unsustainable. I will most certainly crash someday soon. But, for now, I can laugh at how much I have laughed over the past few months. I can find humor in how past me thought all of this was possible for future me. I appreciate how much she believes in me, and I don’t want to disappoint her. When I fall asleep in the middle of something, I have to find humor in it. To be grounded in love during tired seasons is to take things a bit less seriously. This is important because with a foggy brain you are more likely to introduce errors, use sharp words, ask for unexpected changes in plans, and call on others for support. You will need humor and levity in times like this. It is required for a loving approach to exhaustion.