Remember middle school? Everyone has known each other since first grade. You’re all sick of each other. But then the new kid arrives. They’re cool and mysterious. Everyone wants to be their friend or date them. Suddenly they’re the popular ones–at least until the shiny newness wears off. It’s like Cady Heron’s trajectory from nobody to rapid adoption into the Plastics in Mean Girls. There’s just something about the new kid. Guess what: You can channel that New Kid Energy even in adulthood to attract people you meet. Here’s how.
Have main character energy.
The new kids are always the main characters. It’s their world and we’re just living in it. So embrace the fact that you are the center of your own world. Create a soundtrack for yourself. Realize how awesome you are. Go to therapy. Embrace your passions. Laugh freely and often. I’m not saying you should treat people like shit–those aren’t the main characters we want to emulate. Just have fun and let your New Kid Energy transform you into a magnet for high quality people.
Stay a little mysterious.
The mystique of the new kid comes from the unknown. Who are they? Where did they come from? Why are they here now? And why do I want to be their friend so badly? Rather than immediately going up to people and telling them your life story, let them come to you. Introduce yourself, then ask them questions. Show your interest in them and they’ll clamor to know more about you.
Don’t just make friends through other friends.
In adulthood, friendships always seem to materialize through your connections with other people. It’s a great way to be introduced to people without having to start fresh. But does that channel New Kid Energy? Nope! If some people already know you, you’re not the new kid. If you have the drive, try to make friends without the connections. It’s harder, but hey, it helps with the mystique.
Join a club.
Okay, this is probably the easiest way to be the actual new kid. Look for clubs or community classes in your town you can join. You won’t know anyone, which is perfect for this. It helps if the club is already established so you can saunter in fresh while everyone else already knows and is sick of each other.
Go back to school.
I mean, it’s certainly the literal way to go. Whether you’re 18 or 45, going back to school is a quick way to make a ton of friends. Everyone gets to start fresh, which is why people are often reinventing themselves during the transition from high school to college. No one knows you, so you can be whoever you want to be. That’s peak New Kid Energy.
Start fresh somewhere new.
This is the best way to have New Kid Energy: Be the literal new person everywhere you go. For example, if you move you won’t be a part of the stale group of always-singles that populate the Tinder where you live. After seeing the same people over and over again on dating apps, any time a fresh face pops up, they get snapped up immediately. Moving could certainly do that for you. You’ll be the new face everyone wants. Or…
Just set your dating apps to elsewhere.
If it’s specifically the dating scene where you want to manifest New Kid Energy, you could always start swiping in other places. No one will fault you if you sign up for Tinder Passport and set your location to Scotland so you can bag a kilt-wearing hunk straight out of Outlander. We’ll all be jealous, if anything.