Why A Situationship Breakup Will Hurt More Than An ‘Official’ One

After your situationship falls apart, you will be blindsided by how painful the ending is. Because despite the fact you told yourself it was light and casual and that you two both agreed you were just “going with the flow,” feelings for your situationship still found a way to sneak into the crevices of your heart, hiding away safely and securely until it was the right time to allow themselves to be known.

But now it is over, and that “right time” never struck. However, those feelings? They are still very much there and are demanding to be seen and heard. And you have no choice but to oblige.

So you do. You lean in. You dig deep, and as you explore the depths of your heart, you start to see how deeply you cared about your situationship and how much you liked them. You remember every little bygone moment you shared with them and it hurts.

As the days move along, you notice you are missing them more than you thought you would, more than you thought was ever possible for something that was “not that serious.”

You keep checking your phone for their good morning text that is never going to arrive. You keep waiting for them to ask what you are up to Friday night. You keep wanting to text them about the funny thing that happened at work. But you cannot do that anymore because they are gone. And it is killing you.

It was not supposed to hurt like this. That was the point in keeping it light. And yet, here you are. Aching.

This is why a situationship breakup will hurt you the most. Not only because you never saw the ending on its way, but also because you did not anticipate that the ending would wound you whatsoever. After all, you were convinced you did not feel much of anything for your situationship at all.

But you did, and still do. And you feel like a damn fool for it, if you are being honest. In fact, you do not feel entitled to your own feelings of heartbreak. After all, your situationship told you what this was, what you were to them. You did not have to stay as long as you did, right? It was you who chose to ignore the warmth building. You were warned by the flames and still got burned anyway.

But you must be gentle with yourself. Because when someone else acts careless with your heart, accidents are bound to happen. Whether they meant to or not, they still broke your heart.

So, you can go back in time as much as you want and try and explain why you are wrong to feel the way that you do, that will not take the pain away. It will simply prolong it.

Even if your situationship was not anything more to them, that does not mean that has to be true for you. Acknowledge that what you felt and what you are experiencing now is real. Because it is then you can begin to heal. It is then you can move on.