Here’s Why It’s Time To Stop Playing The Blame Game

My first relationship was in ninth grade, and it was a secret. He was the one who insisted on secrecy; apparently, I wasn’t cool enough for it to be public knowledge. He never even took me on a real date. Our relationship consisted of making out in hidden places after school. After several months of this, I came to the conclusion that I was done being treated like crap. I told some of my friends when I ended it. Then he went around saying that I’m a liar and I made the whole thing up.

When I look at my life, I can pinpoint the pattern of allowing guys to use me all the way back to him. If my first relationship experience had been positive, I would have a higher sense of self-worth. I wouldn’t have put up with so many years of dating jerks.

About five years after I graduated high school, I was shocked to receive a message on a dating website from that very first guy. I thought he must not have recognized my picture, so I wrote back and explained who I was. His response was that he hardly remembered anything from high school, and he had no recollection of me.

I was stunned. He had made a hugely negative impact on my life. I spent so much time thinking that this guy should reimburse me for my therapy bills, and he didn’t even remember me. Seriously? I couldn’t believe it.

Many people ruminate about their past and obsess over the people who hurt them long ago. But do the ones who caused the pain think about them too? Apparently not. They have their own crap to deal with. My guess is that this guy’s memory issues were caused by either depression or drug use. I wasn’t the only one who was having a hard time.

I had spent too much time caught up in my own head. I blamed him for all of my problems, and he didn’t even know who I was. None of my issues were his fault. He was busy dealing with his own stuff.

That’s the problem with blame. The other person most likely does not care about your feelings. They might not even remember you. It’s up to you to take responsibility for your own life. You got to this point because of the choices you made. No one forced you to do anything. Playing the blame game is not a way of dealing with your problems. It’s time to suck it up and own your mistakes. That is the only way you can move forward.