How Long You’d Survive A Horror Movie Based On Your Birth Month
Horror movies tend to follow certain survival patterns. The impulsive characters take risks too early, the overly confident ones underestimate danger, and the calm strategic thinkers usually make it the furthest. Psychologists even link survival instincts to traits like emotional regulation, decision-making, and risk tolerance.
Of course, this ranking is all in good fun, but your birth month might reveal exactly how you’d handle being chased through the woods by a masked killer. Read on to find out whether you’d survive until the credits roll or disappear before the second act!
12. June
Those born in June would be killed off first. We all love those born in June because they are the life of the party and always have something exciting to talk about. However, in order to survive a horror movie, “exciting” is not what you want to be.
11. April
Those born in April are way too brave and adventurous for their own good and it’s going to get them killed. They’ll be the ones suggesting it’s a good idea to split up and investigate that strange noise coming from the haunted house next door.
10. August
August-born individuals love to be the center of attention and a horror movie isn’t exactly the time or place to show off. This is actually one of the few times in life it pays to be more of an under-the-radar type person. Every time I think of someone born in August in a horror movie I think of the scene in Friday the 13th Part 3 where the kid is showing off and walking on his hands and Jason machetes him down the middle 🙁
9. February
An Aquarian is way more likely to be the serial killer than be in a situation in which they are hunted by one, given that they are so independent and not prone to be in group situations. However, they have the same bravery and confidence that makes someone born in April or August an easy target. They’re likely to come up with an idea, believe in it, and want to see it through, even if it’s super dangerous.
8. December
December-born individuals are usually happy people who are always up for a good time. This means they’re often going to be breaking the outdated “morality” rules of horror movies: don’t drink, don’t do drugs, and don’t have sex. This is okay with Anyone born in December, however, because a life without fun isn’t much of a life at all.
7. May
As with most areas in life, someone born in May’ stubborn streak is going to be the end of them. They’ll insist they’re fine on their own when they really should be with the rest of the group. They’ll deny that anyone is in danger far too long, and that skepticism is going to cost them.
6. July
July natives are too sensitive and emotional for this shit. When they discover one of their friends’ dead bodies they are going to sit there and scream and panic while the killer slowly sneaks up on them and makes them the next victim. RUN!!! You can cry later.
5. March
Similarly, sensitive March natives are not cut out for the world of trying to survive a horror movie. They prefer to avoid such stress and retreat to their own peaceful world instead. I can see someone born in March being killed while working on a painting inspired by all the grief they’re trying to process.
4. November
People born in November are badasses and the perfect combination of brave and shrewd. They’ll make it far in any horror movie but in the end, their temper may get the best of them. If they die, they’ll go out fighting and making sure that they make whoever hurt them and their friends hurts too.
3. October
Those born in October are so well-liked by anyone that they’ll be carried to the end by whoever manages to survive. They are perfectly placed to ride on coattails here as long as they keep quiet and just do whatever their friend tells them to do.
2. September
The only problem a those born in September have with a horror movie scenario is that they were not given advanced notice that this would be taking place. However, they’re so organized and level-headed that they would be able to guide themselves and their friends through the safest course of action. You might not even see a September at the end of the movie because they’ve successfully evacuated to another state where the killer will never find them again.
1. January
Those born in January are cold and shrewd which can be a problem in real life but is an asset in horror movie life. They make decisions solely based on how it is going to advance their position in life. They are used to calculating the actions of those around them, so they’d thrive in a scenario in which this is required to survive.