How To Become Comfortable With The Unknown

I am only 22—here is why I am becoming comfortable with the unknown.

You ever realize that your younger self is driving the car of your life and steering you in a way that you don’t want to go? I certainly have. My 16-year-old self believes that where I started working at age 16 is where I must stay because it is the first place that I felt accepted and I could be myself. It is the place where I was praised for my maturity, given responsibilities, and mentored by those I trust. I developed lifelong friendships with my mentors and fellow co-workers. It is where I gained the confidence to talk in front of a crowd without self-doubt. It is where I had the chance to goof and laugh so hard because the kids said something silly or my fellow co-workers were gossiping about what happened in the last hour. It is familiar and familial, like no place I have experienced before. 

Thus, the logic I developed as a 16-year-old is this is the first place and only place I shall feel this way. I find that most teens, including myself, think in very black-and-white ways, especially when it comes to fitting in. The reality is that I can feel this way in other communities and places if I were to allow myself to let go of this false truth. The higher truth is it was the first place I truly felt like myself and learned who I was as a person. I can feel in my bones that there are many places out in the world I can feel that way. 

It isn’t too late to start over. Rather, I can pause and create a different path that I wish to travel down. I don’t need to continue on this path unless it is the one that I want to go down. My 16-year-old self isn’t in charge unless I allow her to be. It seems she is because I have been living in fear and sticking to the actions that feel comfortable yet familiar. Perhaps it is time to choose the uncomfortable by working through the false truth and rewriting them. My present self recognizes that my future self wants—a non-toxic workplace, the ability to be creative and playful, and experience joy when thinking about work.

Leaning into the uncomfortable takes strength and courage, which we all have inside of us. We require the key to unlock this courage, the key can be aloof depending on how bad you want the new reality. If you aren’t ready or too scared, the key will not present itself. It will be covered in the cloak of invisibility because it knows that you may feel unworthy of taking it.

I certainly feel unworthy of taking the key to be the victor of my life. I like the comfort and dependability of where I am now, because I know everything where I am and feel no doubt that I can succeed as Coach Bronte. Yet, I want more than being Coach Bronte, and that is completely okay no matter what my 16-year-old self says or wants. In addition, it is also completely okay for me to be unsure of what is included in that concept of “more”. I am only 22 and I don’t need to know what I am doing with my life or career. The reality is I will only know where I am and perhaps an inkling of where I hope to go. 

Society makes us believe that not knowing or being unsure is unacceptable and we should always be searching for this certainty of where we are going. Yet, from my personal experience and many others’, certainty comes from not knowing and exploring what you enjoy rather than being stressed and worried about the unknown. Sometimes the best ideas and understandings come through boredom and discovery of what aligns with your values; we try our best to race towards the answers when we could simply let them come to us through living and exploring what we enjoy. 

I find constantly questioning what we know to be true and false is a way that we can unlock those deep emotions and circles of thoughts that rule our daily lives. So, I challenge all to explore, discover, and question by filling your life with experiences of joy daily, feeling the lows and highs, and accepting that the unknown leads to wisdom. You will make your mark on this earth, and you don’t need to know what that is at age 22 or 50. You may never truly know, but don’t let the fear of not knowing determine how you live. 

Live knowing you are loved, worthy, and more than enough. Live knowing you can have a positive impact on those around you by doing what is best for you. Live knowing that moments of struggle and frustration are a chance to lean into the uncomfortable and work through those limiting beliefs. Live knowing everything will work out. Live knowing that your life is a series of chapters in your story—you can’t skip to the end without going through the process. Live knowing your future self is so proud of who you were and who you will become.

Never give up, because you will get there—you are going at your own pace and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Be the victor of your life, whatever that may look like!