Hassan OUAJBIR

How To Grieve The Living Dead

Grief.

Ah, yes.

Even the word feels heavy

I’ve been lucky enough to never have to grieve the loss of a loved one stolen by death

…yet

But what do we do about the ones we grieve who are still living?

The ones who there is still a possibility we could run into on some side street somewhere?

What about the ones we run into because we both happened to go to what was our favorite restaurant, years later at the same time?

How does one greet the living dead?

With a smile? Or a hug?

That’s what I didn’t and I wish I hadn’t.

But I’ll be gentle with myself and I hope you will too, because nobody really taught us how—

How do you carry the memories around?

Where do the memories go? They never seem to float away and even though they fade

They still seem to stay

And linger 

Like ghosts

Once the specifics fade and we think we’re safe

We smell their perfume on a stranger

Strange, huh?

How the grief thing lingers 

And in that instant were transported 

and the corpses are thwarted and given new life 

…which torments 

Us.

Steady 

Steady, now

It’s all in your head, they’re dead 

After all they’re not even here or anywhere near you

Right now.

But for that fraction of second

They’re resurrected 

Ah, yes.

You’re fine

It’s fine

grieving what could have been

And what was 

But that’s all romantic 

What’s truly insidious is seeing your loved one seem alive and be dead

Because they too still grieve and bleed 

from their own old living dead.

And they can’t help it

After all, nobody taught us how 

We’re here

I am here

To give reprieve and ease the tension and aggravation from grieving the living dead