Thought Catalog Agency

How To Love A Scorpio, According To Your Zodiac Sign

Scorpios are a bit of a paradox. They like to create an allure of mystery around themselves, yet they’re arguably the easiest of the zodiac signs to spot. Their searing stares, daring makeup artistry, and all-black attire are not exactly difficult to miss.

Yet there is more to Scorpio than Halloween theatricality. As water signs, they possess remarkable emotional depth. But they’re not likely to expose their sensitive interior to just anyone, preferring to use their intimidating gaze—you know the one—to parse who is worth bringing into their secret world and who simply doesn’t seem up to the challenge. As a fixed sign, they’re not likely to change their mind once it’s made up.

That said, if you’ve pulled a Scorpio this cuffing season, consider yourself very lucky. They’ve deemed you a worthy companion on their journey through this strange place called life—and perhaps even beyond the veil.

Remember, Scorpio is ruled by Pluto in modern astrology. This is the planet of death, destruction, transformation, and power. Even traditional astrologers, who assigned Mars as the ruler of Scorpio, recognized that this was a sign who didn’t fear the underworld.

If you’re looking for a relationship that will force you to confront your demons and take you deeper into spirituality than you’ve ever dared to go, stick with your Scorpio. Here’s how to love them well, depending on your synastry.

Aries

You’re ruled by Mars, just like your lover, so you have a similarly assertive and daring way of showing up in the world. However, you’re a fire sign and they’re all water. You don’t hesitate to impulsively attack with words; they use their emotional intelligence to do damage, sometimes willingly playing a very long game. With a challenging quincunx between you, you’ll find that your “act first, think later” approach often unsettles your Scorpio. When faced with conflict, they’re more likely to quietly make their judgments than leap straight into the action. In a fight, don’t go for their throat. Instead, give them time to be alone and process. They’re more sensitive than you think.

Taurus

With an opposition between you and your Scorpio, you are known as sister signs, Taurus. This can be both a blessing and a curse. You have the same goals, making this a largely harmonious relationship, but your wildly different approaches to reaching them will complicate matters until you learn how to love each other exactly as you are. While you are earthy and tactile, preferring the realm of the material, your watery Scorpio will often require long periods of solitude. They thrive in their own personal dark dreamworld. You might not be able to reach them when they are slipping away, but don’t take it as a personal slight; they need to recharge their social battery this way, sometimes using unconventional means—such as falling asleep to their favorite true crime podcast—to self-soothe. Give them their space, keep your shared environment clean and tidy, and wait patiently for them to approach you after a fight. If you force them to talk, they’ll retreat; when they inevitably come to you, welcome their emotional spillover with an open and non-judgmental heart.

Gemini

On the surface, you don’t have much in common, Gemini. There is a tense quincunx between you and your Scorpio, making the connection a bit of a challenge at the beginning. However, if you are willing to put in the work, you and your Scorpio can have a long-lasting and intellectually satisfying relationship. If anyone is willing to listen to your millions of ideas and indulge your intense curiosity, it’s a Scorpio, who you’ll notice also has two distinct sides: the one that presents as dark and scary and the one that just wants some love. You’re used to living life in fast-paced mode, while your Scorpio is more focused and brings a slower energy to your relationship. They will make a great researcher if you decide to create something together or start a business; you can step up as the “idea guy” while they put in the hard work you consider boring and tedious. If you can overcome your differences and strike that delicate balance, you can leave a lasting legacy. You are both obsessive, passionate, and inventive.

Cancer

This is a relationship with powerful potential, Cancer. A beautiful trine connects you and your Scorpio, and you’ll notice right away that your partner is refreshingly open with their emotions. As someone who thrives in the sensitive sphere and thrives when you’re able to provide comfort to your partner, you will make your Scorpio feel comfortable in your presence from the get-go. However, you might find their intensity jarring and even frightening at times. While you are concerned with providing a safe haven for your loved ones and prefer to bury your head in the sand when things get too dark, your Scorpio will appear frustratingly preoccupied with the very things that disturb you. They seek comfort in the unknown. Understand that they are equipped with the ability to handle the horrifying, but don’t feel bad about setting boundaries if you’d rather not hear the details.

Leo

Opposites attract—and with your boundless energy and charisma, Leo, you find it easy to be the extrovert to your Scorpio’s introvert. However, with a tense square forming between you, your relationship can feel strained and difficult at times. Your ego can be tiresome to your quieter Scorpio partner, and their moody solitude can get on your nerves. The key to overcoming this tension is working with one another’s differences, rather than fighting against them. If you’re planning a party (like Leos are apt to do), consult your partner before you plan the color palette or decorations. While you might prefer a lavish leonine theme that emphasizes all of your best qualities, your Scorpio will feel totally abandoned in the shadows. Combine the best of both worlds and allow them their chance to shine, too, with a touch of atmospheric angst. Gold and black are a pretty striking match.

Virgo

You might just find exactly what you’ve been looking for in this relationship, Virgo. If the biggest challenge is “he’s messy and she’s neat,” you’ll probably be okay—and this is the dynamic that comes to mind when one thinks of a Virgo-Scorpio relationship. You love keeping your space clean and organized, providing structure for your loved ones, while your Scorpio will dive into their passion project of the month with the obsessive focus of a private investigator. There will be few secrets between you, due to the calming and warm sextile between you. Your relationship will feel natural and familiar, and the mystery and thrill of getting to know the inner depths of a Scorpio will be an exciting adventure for someone like you—who might find similarities between your new partner and your favorite book boyfriends of the past. Scorpios are the bad boys of the zodiac, after all, and voracious readers can’t get enough of this trope come to life.

Libra

You exude the peaceful energy that your Scorpio has been searching for all their lives, Libra. Sitting one sign before them on the zodiac wheel, your purpose is to bring beauty to decay and usher in the Scorpionic darkness. This will be reflected in your relationship with your new partner, whose all-knowing eye and deep intuition might feel uncomfortably penetrating to you. However, you probably won’t find this as frightening as it is intriguing: their almost psychic understanding of what you need and how to bring out the more adventurous side of you will keep you chasing your Scorpio even when they occasionally get moody. As the mediator of the zodiac, you’re a lover, not a fighter—you will remind them to look on the bright side, and they will confront you when you’re being too passive. If you get wronged and don’t stand up for yourself, you can bet that your Scorpio will be formulating a manipulative plan to get revenge.

Scorpio

If you’ve found yourself in a same-sign relationship, Scorpio, don’t believe the stereotypes! It’s not necessarily going to fail just because you’re so similar. You are driven by the same impulses, love the same things, and have the same dramatic passions. Since Scorpio is a deeply sexual sign, your libidos will be nicely matched. However, the trouble with two Scorpios in love can arise when your daily life gets too intense, preventing you from releasing your pressure valve of emotions. This is the time to fully lean in to your shared obsessions, taking some time to talk about what you’ve been going through, escaping the stress, and getting out of town for a weekend to indulge in one another’s company. You know how deeply and passionately you can love. Your partner will be able to keep up.

Sagittarius

You bring the adventure to every relationship, Sagittarius, and you’ll be pleased to learn that your Scorpio is probably willing to join you, as long as you keep an open mind—in the sense that their idea of a romantic getaway might be to a haunted Airbnb rather than a hostel in Thailand. Since you’re placed one sign directly after them in the zodiac wheel, you carry some of the same energy: the fire to their water, the ignition of pre-holiday action after the dreariness of spooky season. While your thoughts and ideas come and go like ships in the night, Scorpio is more easily anchored to one, and they will fix their focus upon it like it is the most important thing in the universe. You are one of the most independent signs, and you aren’t a huge fan of commitment, so the way Scorpios love might be startling to you at first. Keep in mind that while they can take it too far, they usually don’t, especially if clear boundaries are set early on. Meet them in the middle and explain that you require a bit more space than they do, and reassure them that it doesn’t mean you love them any less.

Capricorn

Your work ethic is something to behold, Capricorn, and only an equally intense Scorpio can match your energy when you’re in the zone. While your focus is often more material (and you run the risk of falling into the workaholism cycle), there is nothing surface-level about your Scorpio, who will enjoy trying to get a rise out of you by learning all your secret vices and virtues. They want to understand you at the deepest level, and with a happy sextile between you, you will fall into a comfortable routine when cohabitating or working on a project together They are loyal to their partners, so they’ll stick around for the long term, which is something you, as a visionary, can appreciate. You treat everything, even your closest relationships, from a business mindset, but your Scorpio will remind you that there are more important things than designer clothes and seven figures in your bank account. It’s your soul that they’re enamored with.

Aquarius

You’re eccentric and proud of it, Aquarius, and your Scorpio will be your biggest supporter. They’re used to being outsiders, too, and their interests are often considered unconventional. However, with a tense square forming between your signs, you approach life quite differently. You, as the grandiose and philosophical humanitarian, might find your Scorpio’s introspective and discerning eye too critical. While you focus on the big picture, dreaming of the best possible ideology for humanity as a whole, your Scorpio is more likely to become hyperfixated on individual social ills that need mending. The devil is in the details, as far as you’re concerned, so you’ll need to take time to understand your partner’s approach. They might respond with frustration in turn, believing the adage that Aquarians appear to “love humanity but hate people.” The trick to making this relationship work? Finding common ground and working backwards from there. You’ll find there’s more you agree on than not.

Pisces

You might think you’re the most emotional of the water signs, Pisces, but your Scorpio will certainly give you a run for your money. The harmonious trine between you ensures that your relationship will flow naturally and with few immediate conflicts. You are both likely to appreciate one another’s company, discussing all things mystical and taboo; a dreamy connection like this is likely to encourage an almost telepathic connection, and you might find your partner meeting you in the dream plane often. You’re both motivated by the desire to see and understand as much as you can about the world. However, your sights are set heavenward, seeking comforting esoteric insights; your Scorpio is more tempted by the underworld, playing around with divination and the occult. When they go low, you go high. If you are uncomfortable with what they find there, you will indulge in your escapist tendencies and pretend you don’t see it. Many Pisces’ appreciation of the spiritual is more theoretical—meaning that you might not exactly like the idea of your Scorpio holding a séance in your living room.