I Refuse To Fuel My Insecurities

It is not that I do not have insecurities, I do

I just refuse to fuel the fire of insecurity that burns inside my brain, sending lies to my core,

‘You’re not pretty enough,’

‘You’re not skinny enough,’

‘You’re not enough,’

I have spent so much time, money, and energy re-learning how to love every part of myself,

learning to view myself with the wonder I was born with, the infant eyes that reveled in my reflection, that simply saw rather than judged

I have learned to love the natural wave of my golden hair,

the brightness of my amber eyes that have tints of orange and caramel when the sun hits them,

the shape and thickness of my eyebrows, full of expression

the transparency of my face, reflecting the reality of my feelings

my smile that pairs with my infectious laugh, the way I cry unabashedly

the way I talk with my whole body, which despite the flaws I fight so hard to forget,

I know there is a beauty to the extra weight on my belly, because it tells stories of my past

I know there is a loveliness to my curves, the shape of my chest, and the thickness of my thighs,

there is a charm to my painted nails, serving as armor from my anxious habit,

my skin, with tattoos that hold unique meanings,

but most of all, I know I love and care with every ounce of my being,

my heart never stops beating after breaking,

it only beats louder

I know I am enough,

I shine with resiliency,

integrity,

vulnerability,

and authenticity,

always wanting to recant my impulsive apologies,

I’m not sorry for who I am.

When the insecurities surface, 

it’s not that I avoid them,

it’s just that I know they are lies,

and instead of giving them power,

I’d rather let them burn out.