I will never accept a lopsided friendship. A true friendship doesn’t have one person always chasing the other. I’m not your lapdog to sit and fetch. We are equals, or we’re nothing.
I will never accept a power imbalance. A give and take needs to be balanced. If I’m doing all the giving and you’re doing all the taking, is that a real friendship? Would a true friend want that kind of power over someone? I won’t be manipulated into doing everything you want to do if you wouldn’t do the same for me. We compromise, or we won’t be friends at all.
I will never be the last to know. I won’t accept the last-minute invite to a pre-planned event. That feeling of being an afterthought can weigh heavily. That only hurts me. I deserve a friend who thinks of me from the start and wants me around. If I can’t get that from you, I can find someone new.
I will never take all the blame. Every friendship has their fights. We’ll come to an impasse at some point, but if the way I have to get things back to normal is accept all the blame, I’m not interested. A true friend doesn’t make people grovel at their feet, forgetting all the things that they themselves did wrong. That’s narcissism, not friendship.
I will never be friends with someone I’m afraid of. I shouldn’t be walking on eggshells around you. I shouldn’t have to worry that if I make one wrong move, I’ll lose you forever. A quality friendship can withstand a lot. But if our bonds are tenuous–if they can be broken over the smallest thing–then we weren’t as close as I thought.
I will never beg for your friendship. I won’t grovel. I won’t worship at your feet. That’s not the kind of person who’s worthy of my friendship.