It’s hard to think that your friendships aren’t solid, that any day they could end. Even worse is the feeling of your friends quietly slipping away. The truth is, everyone goes through at least one friendship breakup in their lives. If you’re holding on to how things used to be, you might not be recognizing the signs. Here’s how you know it’s truly over.
You’re always last to know.
They’re having a party, they got a promotion, they just got engaged? You used to be the first person they’d go to when they had news, but now you seem to be last on their list. Or maybe you’re hearing it from everyone else and your friend is never the one to tell you. They’re avoiding you, babe.
They’re no longer initiating anything.
Have you noticed that you’re the one texting first? You’re the one initiating plans to hang out? If you want to test the theory, you could always stop texting and see how long it takes for them to text first. You might be waiting forever. Although that’s a game best left as the last thing you do in this former friendship.
They’re constantly breaking plans with you.
Even when they say yes to plans, they rarely ever follow through. Even if this isn’t a sign that they don’t want to be your friend anymore, it might be your sign to cut them loose. Keep friends around who respect your time, not ones who flake on you constantly.
The bad outweighs the good.
Perhaps this friendship no longer serves you. Enumerate the good and bad aspects of your friendship. While no one person or relationship is perfect, the good qualities should still vastly outnumber the bad. If it’s the other way around, the friendship has become toxic and unsustainable.
You’re holding on to the idea of the friendship, and not what it actually is.
You may have been close at one point in the past, but are you now? Don’t keep around toxic people just because they used to be nice to you. Judging purely based on how the friendship is now, is it worth saving?
You’ve outgrown the friendship, too.
It might not just be coming from your friend’s direction. Do you feel it? You may have been slowly growing apart for months or years now and the gulf between you has expanded so much that there seems to be no way to cross it. Sometimes there’s nobody at fault, and you’ve just become different people with separate lives, and that’s okay. Just don’t hold on to something that no longer exists.