We all hope that we’re one of those people who can be confident and strong while single. It’s the confidence in knowing that you’re great by yourself and that you can wait for the right person to come along–if that’s even what you want. And you can have fun without being in a relationship. But not all of us are as secure as we’d like to think. Look out for the signs below to see if you’re actually afraid to be alone.
You’ve tried to convince your exes to stay with you.
If you were chill with being alone, you wouldn’t hold on so tight when someone’s breaking up with you. But instead, you try to convince them to change their mind, as if there’s a magic phrase you can use to make them fall back in love with you. Rather than only wanting to be with someone who wants to be with you, you’ll do anything not to end up single again.
You’ve ignored obvious red flags.
Some red flags are missable in the beginning of a relationship. You’ve got the rose-colored glasses on, so it makes sense if you don’t notice them. But if you notice everything wrong with your partner and the relationship and still continue to date them? Putting yourself so low on your list of priorities is a huge sign that you’ll do anything to avoid being single.
You don’t think you can do any better.
A common thing you hear from people who stay in bad relationships is that they think this is the best they can do. They stay because they see being single as an even worse outcome. Please know–that’s not true. Bad relationships are always worse.
You jump on dating apps the moment after a breakup.
As soon as your last relationship is over–probably before the day is even over–you’ve already downloaded Tinder and Hinge and are crafting your updated bio. Swipe, swipe, swipe and you’re left with a new stable of people to date. You won’t even give yourself one moment to feel what it’s like to be single.
You latch onto your friends as soon as you’re single.
If you have to be single, that doesn’t mean you have to be alone. Suddenly you’re asking everyone to hang out, to come over and help you through the breakup, to go out for drinks and flirting at the bar, to do anything they can to help you forget your heartbreak. You’re just replacing the empty space your ex has left in their wake with other people.
You move on to your next relationship at the speed of light.
No gaps for you. As soon as you have an idea that your relationship is ending, you’ve already devised a plan for your next one. You may even have a few people waiting in the wings for the moment you’re single. You can call them up knowing they’ll jump at the chance to date you. And you’re down, even if you aren’t that into them. Because you’d rather date almost anyone than spend time alone.