Katie Treadway

If Your Best Friends Hate Him, They’re Probably Right

You were nervous to introduce your new guy to your friends, and for good reason. Your best friends don’t hold back. They won’t keep their opinions to themselves–especially when it comes to your happiness. They’ve got their fingers in your love life. While it may feel annoying to have their constant opinions of everyone you date, here’s the uncomfortable truth: They’re probably right.

You know that feeling when you first start dating someone? It’s that warmth that creeps up from your stomach. He enters a room and you feel the air change. How did you go this long without this man in your life? It’s what makes you feel butterflies every time you see him. It’s what makes you find everything about him so damn endearing. Even the littlest things are like proof that he is the exact right person for you.

But there’s a problem with that feeling. While it colors your world in pastels while little heart emojis seem to dance around you, it also helps you conveniently miss all of those glaring red flags. As the saying goes, when you have rose-colored glasses on, all the red flags in the world just look like flags. That’s where your best friends come in.

The opinions start from the moment you first meet the guy. You’ll tell your friends about how you met or about your first date, and they come loaded with reasons why–or why not–this man is trash. Before you get defensive, take a moment to listen to what they have to say. They could be on to something.

It’s when you really start a relationship that your friend’s input could make-or-break your opinion of the guy. Spilling details about first dates over champagne-heavy mimosas at Sunday brunch is one thing. Everything changes when you go official and your friends finally spend more than a few minutes with the guy. That’s where opinions are formed and you might finally get informed insights from your best friends.

Your best friends get the version of him you’re unwilling you see. They see the things you don’t.

If you feel like your friends have your best interests at heart, listen when they pull you aside. They might see him treating you badly, but you’re too blinded by love to see it yourself. Your best friends are looking out for you. They want what’s best for you. And if this guy isn’t good enough–if he’s treating you like crap–they’ll tell you. Maybe you should listen.