Dziana Hasanbekava

In All Your Loving, I Hope You Don’t Forget To Love Yourself

You give your heart fiercely. You’re always thinking about what you can do for everyone else, about who you need to be for everyone else. But you neglect the person you need to be for yourself.

You’re the person who shows up. You’re the person who makes an effort, even though you don’t feel like it. You know how it feels to be alone. You know how it feels to have the weight of the world on your shoulders. You wouldn’t wish that on anyone else.

You love hard because love is everything. It makes the world bearable. You’re usually guarded, waiting for the right person to open up to, and when you find your person, you can’t help but pour your heart out. Loving is therapeutic. You feel a sense of euphoria when your heart gives. 

But in all your loving, I hope you do not forget to love yourself. Sometimes we hyper-focus on loving others because we’re not ready to face ourselves. We’ve been living our lives to serve those around us for so long—our kids, partners, and parents—that we’ve lost sight of who we are. We function on autopilot, thinking that loving everyone else is who we are. Giving is just what we do, and if it’s taken away, we’re lost. You come face to face with the question, “Who am I?”

You are so much more than your ability to give. Though loving brings you a sense of belonging, I want you to know that you can also belong to yourself. In all your loving, I hope you show up for yourself. I hope that you make yourself a priority. I hope you give yourself as much grace as you offer. I hope that you go out of your way for yourself. I hope you forgive yourself over and over again like you have so many others. I hope you allow yourself to make mistakes. I hope that you speak kindly to yourself. In all your loving, I hope you don’t forget to love yourself.

I hope you put on your best dress. I hope you spin around the room in anticipation of meeting yourself. I hope you dig deep and have meaningful conversations to find out who you really are. I hope that you see your beauty. I hope that you buy yourself gifts and leave hidden surprises. I hope you nourish your body, cooking meals infused with flavor and love. I hope that you show up for yourself.

In all your loving, I hope you don’t forget to love yourself. Loving yourself isn’t going to take away from your calling to help others. It can only add to it. Loving yourself is how you heal. Loving yourself is leading by example. Loving yourself is how you give more because you’re not waiting for the validation of others. In all your loving, please, do not forget to love yourself.Â