Letticia Massari

In Case You Forgot, Lowering Your Standards Won’t Bring You Love

In case you forgot, lowering your standards won’t bring you love. It may bring you temporary happiness and a few nice dates, but it won’t bring you love or commitment. It won’t bring you the kind of person that sticks around or the person that brings you peace of mind, consistency, and stability. It will bring you those who play games, those who give you mixed signals and anxiety. It won’t bring you the kind of relationship that stands the test of time, it will only bring you temporary and casual relationships.

In case you forgot, biting your tongue and swallowing your pride just to keep someone around won’t make them appreciate you more because the moment you speak up or start asking for more is the moment they’ll start running away because that’s not what they were looking for. They liked things casual and shallow, they liked you when you were accommodating their needs and they liked keeping you at arm’s length because they didn’t want you to come closer or start having expectations from them.

In case you forgot, ignoring the red flags and the signs in the beginning will only bring you more disappointments down the road because you are lying to yourself and forcing yourself not to see the truth. You’re treating the person based on how much you like them, not based on what they’re doing for you or how they’re treating you. You’re making excuses for their behavior, even though they won’t do the same for you.

In case you forgot, you deserve the kind of love you’ve been giving. You deserve the same effort, the same attention, the same kindness, the same feelings and the same affection. You deserve to be respected, valued, and admired. You deserve someone who is afraid of losing you and someone who is keen on making things work. You deserve someone who is serious about you and shows you that they want you to be a part of their daily life, not someone who occasionally makes you feel wanted. You deserve a full-time romance, not a part-time fling.

In case you forgot, you don’t have to lower your standards just because everyone around you is. You don’t have to settle if they’re settling. You don’t have to believe them when they tell you that you’re being unrealistic or living in your own world. You don’t have to accept anything less than what you want and you don’t have to explain yourself either. If you’re willing to wait for someone who actually meets those standards, then no one should shame you for it. In case you forgot, this is your life and no one else should tell you how you should live it or the kind of love you should be looking for.