Maybe You’re The Problem, But Not In The Way You Think

Maybe you’re the problem, but not in the way you think. Maybe you’re the problem because you still believe in the goodness of people and you still see the best in them. You believe the words they tell you and you assume that they always mean what they say. You still fall for their words and come up with an endless list of excuses to keep them around. You’re still afraid of losing someone who is not afraid of losing you and you’re still giving chances to those who showed you their true colors more than once. 

Maybe you’re the problem because you think that people will eventually meet you where you are. You still have too much compassion for everyone, even the ones who have none towards you. You still consider their feelings when they clearly disregard yours. You still give them the benefit of the doubt when they write you off at the first blunder. You still remember them when they have clearly forgotten about you. You still bring their name up when they rarely mention you. 

Maybe you’re the problem because you find it hard to accept that these people weren’t genuine with you. You find it hard to accept that they didn’t care about you as much as they claimed. You find it hard to accept that the people you once opened up your heart to and loved took advantage of you and were only in your life just because it was convenient for them. You find it hard to accept that even the ones you fought for till the very end gave up on you from the very start. 

Maybe you’re the problem because you still don’t want to learn that lesson—that some people don’t deserve your love. They don’t deserve your kindness or your understanding or your compassion. They don’t deserve your excuses or your forgiveness, and they don’t deserve constant access to you. Some people deserve boundaries and distance. Some people deserve your silence. 

Maybe you need to let people prove themselves to you a little bit before you give them your heart. Maybe you need to hold them accountable for their actions more often so they don’t continue to do the things that hurt you. Maybe you need to stop hearing their words and start watching their actions, because more often than not, what they say will not match what they do. 

Maybe you’re the problem because you keep trusting the ones who don’t know how to love you or the ones who don’t appreciate you, and that’s something you can feel from the very beginning, even if you don’t want to admit it. You can always tell who truly wants you in their life and who is just passing time. You can always tell who is going to bring you peace or bring you anxiety. You can always feel it. Maybe your problem is you still can’t find the courage to cut your losses and walk away for good, even after everything they’ve done to you.