20 People Who Had a Stalker Discuss How They Found Out And What Happened
1. A Dramatic Breakup
It was my ex. When we broke up it was all very dramatic and he got on a bus across the country the same day for whatever reason and sent a long message from the bus ending with “this is not goodbye” I said “yes it is, good luck”.
Two years later I met my now husband and I suppose he moved back after 3 years. I started seeing him everywhere. He followed the two of us around Walmart for 45 minuets until I just posted up near a security guard and slipped out as he tried to wait for me to get away from the security guard.
Then I saw him wandering around near my mothers house, but I had at that point moved in with my husband.
Then I saw him outside of my work. He was clearly trying to get the courage to come in and he was also very clearly high. Some of the regular police officers came in by chance for their coffee and he left when they arrived.
Then he figured out the general location where I was living and I saw him sort of wandering around a few times. I didn’t go home when I saw him, I went and sat in a public place for a few hours.
Then I changed places of work and I saw him outside about three times. I was near a major transportation hub so I tried to ignore it. But when he started doing the pacing/tweaking/chain smoking thing again I figured I oughta do something so I waited for a family friend I knew would be in who was pretty domineering and I knew would go to bat for me and let him know who it was and what he was doing.
He went outside and told my ex off I suppose. And scared him I guess cause he left quite quickly. My family friend was a bus driver so I gave him a picture and he shared it with some drivers along my regular route and as long as I stuck to that route the few more times I saw him trying to get on my bus we drove right past him or the wrong door opened to let people off and not let him on.
We finally moved again and I quit my job because I had been bouncing around the same chain and was easy to find. Since then I have seen him once but he didn’t see me and I think it was unrelated because he actually bought something. I just sat in the camera room and watched till he left. It’s been an additional 5 years now so I assume he has figured himself out.
I got an air of doom every time I saw him. He was kind when we dated, never abusive. But he was anti drugs and anti smoking and so seeing him high and things like that set off alarm bells. I know he was not well when he returned. I don’t know what would have happened had he gotten close to me. Maybe nothing. But every bone in my body was screaming danger. So I trusted my gut and took steps to maintain distance and I was okay. the police wouldn’t have done anything. No threats were uttered and we were always in public. But all in all it turned out ok.
rkspm
2. High School Stalker Drama
I had a stalker in high school, and he didn’t make it a secret.
We were friends at first, kind of talking romantically, but I was very shy when it came to relationships or being physical. We had never even kissed before when he asked if he could send a song he wrote about me. It made me very uncomfortable and I asked him not to send it, but he did anyway. I expressed my discomfort and tried to continue the friendship, but it was just not working because he would still write me poems and send me weird songs.
He started following me to my classes even though his were on the other side of school, but he wouldn’t speak to me at all. It was insanely uncomfortable. This continued for weeks.
He started sending me mean messages anonymously online and sending me songs with scary titles. He sent me that Smith’s song The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get every single day, sometimes multiple times.
Then one day at lunch he gave me a hand written poem and, I can’t remember what all it said but the end was something about how he wanted to watch me get eaten alive by sharks. While friends, I had told him sharks were my biggest fear. I showed my teacher the poem and she freaked out and took it to the guidance counselor. She knew all the previous incidents so the letter made her worried. Especially how his handwriting changed when he was writing about me dying.
I ended up getting called into a meeting with the principal, a guidance counselor, and the teacher I told. They even called my mom in and we all sat down and talked about what would be the best thing to do. The principal was really nervous he would do something crazy, so he said I should just avoid him as much as possible and be polite anytime we may interact. Basically how I was already handling it.
I’m not sure if they ever spoke to him about it, but the last interaction I had with him still creeps me out to think about. I was up very late, and received a text from him, “Why are you up so late? You should get ready for bed.” He had been to my place once before and I lived very close to the school. I’ll always wonder if he was outside my house that night.
rat-kabob
3. A Persistent Stalker
It started while I was still in high school, he would be in a few of my classes and we would occasionally see each other around town (a very small, rural town). It slowly turned into him showing up at some of my friend group’s hangout spots and saying that I had inspired him to start looking into similar hobbies. We thought it was kinda weird but just brushed it off and avoided him.
Flash forward a couple weeks into the start of summer vacation.
He had found or followed me to all of my favorite places and my work even though both were sometimes towns over from our own. I would see his car at parks where I did outdoor painting, at my place of work as well as at friends’ houses, and he would drive passed the house of the family I nannied for during my days on. I thought it was creepy and told local authorities, but they told me not to worry.
This went on for the rest of high school and up until graduation. I didn’t tell anyone what university I was going to and lied claiming it was one hours away from mine. He was accepted and attended there while I left for another. He found out after a semester that I wasn’t there and showed up at my dorm hall. He tried to break in and convince me and other people in the building to just let him in. I hid out in another girl’s room until my friend was able to pick me up and take me to her boyfriend’s off-campus apartment. I found out he was arrested the next morning for assaulting an RA. I called and showed them the evidence I had for his persistent stalking and finally filed a restraining order.
He just got released a few months ago and I have never been more nervous. I’m just happy my current job and living area has amazing security and they all have pictures and his information to be safe. I may be paranoid, but better safe than end up on a true-crime podcast.
MalkiaBahari
4. A Simple End To Church Stalking
He followed me home from church! He left long letters on my car every night for about a week. He was a lot older than me. The police spoke with him and he left town. I know how lucky I am that it was so simple.
ExxoMountain
5. Workplace Stalking
My wife did, it became a real problem. He was a maintenance man at the school where she taught. She was throwing out a lot of old, damaged books, he asked if could have them for his kids, of course. After that he wanted to always be there, wherever my wife was, he was always sweeping or cleaning near her room. Then one day in the winter, my wife got a flat right after leaving school, it was getting dark and her new best friend is there to fix it. While changing the tire, he started asking sexual questions, he wanted to know if she ever had a black man. Of course she said nothing.
It got worse and the school administration was ignoring it, I was now going way out of my way to take her and to pick her up from school, she was scared.
Then he said something to her while she was eating in the cafeteria, she lost it, she just started screaming and crying for him to leave her alone.
They sent her home for a few days paid leave. Since the school was no help I went to see 2 school board members I knew, but not well. I told them that I had hired an attorney and would be suing the school district unless my wife felt safe. They moved the custodian to another school, but it took months before my wife felt safe. The custodian got in trouble at the next school and was arrested. We never heard from him again.
Disposable70
6. Plot Twist: From High School to Being Married
I was stalked by a guy I went to high school with. He was the kid everyone thought would shoot up our school if he could. Everybody would pick on him and make fun of him for being “a loser”, but I never did. His mom was a teacher at our school and I loved her, so I never wanted to upset her by being mean to her son. I guess he took my niceness as me having a crush on him, and he became obsessed with me. He would stick love notes in my locker all the time, and he made it a point to come visit his mom’s class when he knew I’d be in there (I was her Teacher’s Assistant). Because I was so close with his mom, I never talked to her about it because I didn’t want it to be awkward. I was never actually scared of this guy until he started coming to my house in the middle of the night. My dad worked swing shift, and he would be gone a lot at night. This guy would sneak out of his house late at night and come knock on my window or creep around my house. I had to call the cops a couple of times, and at that point I decided I had to talk to his mom. His parents were super apologetic and said they’d take care of it but he still wouldn’t leave me alone. I got married young and moved away from my hometown, and didn’t think I’d ever have to see him again. One day he sent me a friend request on MySpace and sent this big long message saying how sorry he was for ever making me feel scared or uncomfortable, so I decided to accept his request. I thought “maybe he’s actually grown up and changed”. At first he seemed like he genuinely just wanted to be friends, but then he started leaving creepy comments on pictures of me and my kids. The final straw was when his WIFE messaged me and told me to leave her husband alone. She told me that she knew I was in love with him and that I needed to stop messaging him. Apparently this is what he told her when she caught him creeping on my pictures! I showed her screenshots of the messages he had sent me and the comments on my pictures and blocked them both. He has tried to friend me 3 times from different profiles on Facebook and I’ve had to block all of them. I hope to hell I never see him again.
britterin329
7. Dates With No Connection
I went on 3 dates with a guy but didn’t quite feel like there was a connection. Tried to let him down gently, as he hadn’t had a girlfriend before. I was happy to remain friends as he was a friendly guy, I just wasn’t attracted to him. This was about May.
I’ve learned a few lessons from this one.
He added me on Facebook, which was okay as we’d communicate through there sometimes.
A month or so goes by, and he turns up at my house unannounced, saying he was “in the area”. He actually lived 45 minutes away and decided to go shopping in my town. I wasn’t home at the time. My brother messaged me to let me know, and then the guy messaged me too. I apologized and said I was out, won’t be home for several hours. That’s fine, he went home. (He’d picked me up from my house for the third date)
A few weeks later, I had accepted an event invitation on Facebook to a car show my mechanic was hosting. The guy turned up at this car event whilst I was there with my brother and some friends, and I didn’t really know what to do about it. My brother kept him entertained and I managed to exchange pleasantries but stayed with my friends. I went for lunch with my friends, and when I got home I found out that the guy had gone to my house again. This time he had left some chocolates, a towel with my name embroidered on it and a letter. In the letter he explained how he was in love with me, wanted to have children with me, get married and get a house together. Oh, and the towel was so I could think about him when I dry myself with it. Again, I turned him down, because I wasn’t into him.
A few months later, I’m seeing someone else and he’s over at my house. This guy turns up again, unannounced, trying to get hold of me (why didn’t he just message or call me?!) but luckily my brother is aware I’ve got the new guy with me, so tells the guy I’m not home.
I had to explain to him in a message that if he wants to see me he actually needs to contact me first, not just turn up unannounced and expect me to be available. It made it much more difficult to want to be friends with him as it was becoming a bit overbearing and I didn’t know what he’d try next. So, I had to cut him off.
He tried contacting me through several methods, he even changed his number pretending to be someone else.
He finally stopped after a year and a half.
Isgortio
8. Private Investigator Realized It Was a Stalker Situation
I worked as a secretary at an adult school when I was 18. An adult student kept bothering me taking pictures of me outside the office etc.. I quit that job and got him banned from the school.. fast forward 3 years later I’m in a relationship 6 months pregnant and I’m working at a doctor’s office. A police officer shows up and tells me I’ve had a private investigator on me for a few weeks but he reported his client to the police because his client said he was my husband but the PI after following me for a few weeks figured out he wasn’t and was stalking me. He went to jail for a few days never heard from him again it’s been 19 yrs.. freaky ass shit
lola2203
9. Stalked at Work
Had this woman who would walk into the store I worked at just to talk to me. After a while I got creeped out and started doing inventory in back whenever someone spotted her walking in. I swear she looked more like Annie Wilkes than Kathy Bates did. Used to see her standing outside the library, waiting to get in. She would be cheerful but then utter a string of F bombs or MF bombs if she felt slighted in any way, still with that cheerful yet dead eyed look on her face.
tangcameo
10. Wasn’t Interested
When I was going to university, this one girl came onto me, I let her know I was not interested but she didn’t like that answer. She figured out my schedule, what car I drove when and where I ate lunch, when I got to campus and she sent me creepy messages like “I can’t wait to run my fingers through your hair” I was really worried she was gonna do something to me but luckily she didn’t. Transferred to a technical institute at semester and never saw her again.
TheWholeH0g
11. He Threatened Everyone
I have been stalked by several guys. The scariest one was my ex. He would wait outside my apartment in his car. If I wasn’t there he was at my work waiting in the parking lot. He would call me at random times from random numbers. He would threaten my friends asking them what my location was. He would contact my friends through their social media since I didn’t have any accounts. He threatened a neighbor of mine, and almost broke my door down. My landlord ended my contract early because he feared for my safety. It got to the point that I thought he was going to kill me. Worse part of this? After 2 weeks of our break-up he was already with someone else. So, he was literally doing this while dating another person. It was 3 years of terror.
guyhabit
12. Police Did Nothing
Had a stalker when I was about 16-17 years old. They somehow got a hold of my number and would text me at all hours of the day. Sometimes just to let me know they knew when I had people over or tell me that I’m “coming home awfully late.” They would also tell me of all the other times they saw me throughout the day. I would block the number and they would just keep using new numbers to text me on.
I ended up filing a police report but never got anything out of it. Cops even had the nerve to joke around and say “it’s because you’re pretty! You should be flattered.”
Found out it was a childhood friend’s father, posted him publicly on social media with photos, that put things to an end.
lilhakaw
13. Online Catfish
Someone I hadn’t spoken to in years had been stalking me online, and gotten my passwords to some accounts (DONT SHARE PASSWORDS OVER MULTIPLE ACCOUNTS) and she ended up impersonating me online for years without my knowledge. She catfished people with my pics on dating sites, created a fake Twitter pretending to be me, an Instagram, and even hijacked my old reddit account. The people who found out she was using my identity told me about it, then tried to blackmail me with the information, with the pretense that they would convince authorities that it was actually me catfishing people and so on (they also claimed she was asking people for money in my name, but refused to show me proof of that). I had to do a deep cleaning of my online presence and confront the person who had been impersonating me. It took a long time, but I got her to stop and I got the blackmailers off my back.
Be careful online kids.
MangOrion2
14. Female Stalker
I had a female stalker. It started as her being a coworker and having mutual friends. I told her I didn’t want to date her after some very heavy flirting, and she stopped talking to me. Then weird shit kept happening at my house… a toilet randomly showed up on my front lawn, car was covered in canned soup and lunch meat during the middle of winter (particularly nasty because of where I live) and a bunch of other things. I had a very strong feeling it was her, but never confirmed anything until years and years later when our mutual friend came clean and told me she had been with her during all of those things.
The stalker got married, and then tried to confess everything to me with an apology. I did not accept the apology, because 25 years without one kind of left a sour taste in my mouth when it finally came.
SubstanceJay
15. Three Weeks of Dating Turned Into Five Years of Stalking
Dated a guy for 3 weeks FIVE YEARS AGO. Until this week, he would go on these crazy calling streaks where he’d leave me super long voice messages (I never answered his calls). I’d block whatever number he’d call from, and he’d just call again from a different one.
Last week I changed my number, and I’d had the same one for 20 years. So lame. But I do love the peace and quiet.
Writer10
16. Watching to Choking
A girl used to sit in her car and watch me work in the parking lot of Walmart. One time she tried to choke me and no one would help me. They said it was cute. One time she introduced me to her parents they acted like we were going to get married. It was really weird.
Faye_dunwoody
17. Never Ending Mind Games
I have an abusive ex that stalks me in a way. Every few years, he will text me or unblock me on Facebook briefly and just remind me he’s still keeping tabs on me. I imagine he pays one of those sites for my current number. I left him over 10 years ago, I’ve had several number changes since then.
I’ve had exes that would repeatedly try and contact me through multiple means and keep at it for a while. My last one finally stopped about 2 and a half years ago. Most eventually give up, except for that one. But I’ve never dealt with stalking to a degree I’ve felt I was in danger. More just messing with my head and sense of security.
PeridotPotato
18. Catching Feelings After a Hook Up
Met a guy on a night out. Was just out of a really long term relationship and was looking for a hook up. We exchanged numbers and I went out with him twice (being perfectly transparent that I was only looking for a hook up, which he claimed to be fine with). On our second meeting he had bought me a gift and was way too into me and was catching feelings, so I kindly told him after that meeting that I didn’t want to meet up again.
He sent me messages begging to hook up again with (I think) I just ignored. He showed up at the bar we had met when I was there with friends and basically trailed me around all night. Told my friend he had fallen in love with me, and she asked him to leave us alone.
At the end of the night, my friend and I were at a taco cart, and I guess he had grown angry of being avoided so he just walked right up to me and clobbered me across the face, knocking me to the ground and RAN off into the night.
He claimed to have no recollection of doing it. I filed a police report, but they were very unsympathetic (I was an expat in a foreign country). They contacted him, and he texted in a panic that he would be in trouble, but nothing ever came of it because I very soon left the country.
The weirdo still contacted me over the next weeks/months to say how much he liked me and hoped we could get together again. If I had still been living in that city, I would have felt in very real danger of him showing up randomly and attacking me again.
helenmaryskata
19. Stalked By Three People
I’ve had 3. First made probably 50 accounts to message me over 3 years and then moved into the house next door. I walked past his house n he had his door wide open and on his couch naked and having a wank. I instantly puked. He got kicked out and haven’t heard from him since Second also made a bunch of accounts and then he realized I was friends with his roommate and got on his roommates FB and found out I was at the dog park and showed up there. My best guy friend was a scary biker guy and he and his biker gang showed up and surrounded him. His roommate kicked him out the next day cuz he figured out what happened. Third knew I lived next to one of the bars and was a regular. He showed up at the bar saying Id left something with him and asked which house was mine. Bartender called me and then kicked him out. He didn’t screw off til I started dating a guy.
xGetMuddyx
20. Many Calls
I used to work for an airline. A smaller one that was based out of the west coast and flew to limited areas. Anyway, I took reservations over the phone. We worked in a huge building down the street from the airport with huge floor to ceiling windows.
One night while working the graveyard shift, (only 4 people worked overnight) a man called, I booked a reservation for a flight that would hold his seat for 24 hours. He would just have to call back to pay for the flight to keep the seat. It was a 24 hour courtesy hold basically. He told me all about being a 3rd term abortion doctor out of Idaho and just began chatting. Finally ended the call. He began calling every night and would hang up on people until he got me. He would book courtesy reservations and never call back to pay for them. I had to change my name on the recording that greets callers when they call in. He wasn’t fooled.
I wasn’t overly concerned until 1 night he called and began describing what I was wearing and what car I drove. That was it. I was completely freaked out. I hung up and got my manager.
I ended up having to be escorted out to my car every day and switching my schedule until I could transfer to another department. I’m grateful my boss took it seriously to help me out.
untactfullyhonest