Psychologists Reveal Important Lessons They’ve Learned By Listening To People’s Problems

“People often confuse something that is ‘familiar’ with something that is ‘comfortable.’ By not making the distinction between these two feelings, they often end up repeating patterns in their lives.” — allbright1111

“I have learnt just how often we find ourselves in relationships which are designed to resolve our childhood wounds. I am a relationship therapist and always take one full session with a couple to look at their whole family of origin. Very often by the end of that session, the couple themselves are explaining to me (in some way) how they are recreating childhood issues to attempt to resolve them as adults. It’s incredibly frequent!” — randomtherapistguy

“Often times the most beneficial thing you can do for someone is just treat them with dignity. Even for people with severe psychosis something as simple as saying ‘that sounds like it’s really scary’ when they tell you about the demons rather than trying to argue with them makes all the difference.” — ZZBC

“Excessive alcohol consumption, at a level not usually considered problematic, impacts people a lot more than they think it does. Depressed? Heavy drinker? Think about cutting down your drink.” — Zpiderz

“Everything is subjective: one person can view an ‘event’ as an opportunity whilst another in the same situation can view it as a threat.” — bosstrasized

“Most people would rather talk about what’s wrong than do anything about it. This isn’t meant as disrespect against my clients, but the reality is that maybe 2-3 out of 10 will actually follow through on actions that will lead to higher life satisfaction. Of those 2-3, over 95% will see improvement, and around half will see dramatic and rapid improvement. In other words, therapy is not about finding answers, it’s about finding motivation.” — jkrac

“People can take a lot of shit. It’s almost scary how shitty someone’s life can be but they still truck on.” — Isolatedwoods19

“I was a psychologist in a suburban mental health clinic for 30 years. I began by asking, ‘How do you want your life to be?’ It was amazing how many people had never learned to make reasonable life plans based upon their aptitudes, intelligence, and desires. Together we’d complete a goal list and visualize how things would look in five years. Each element was tweaked until the client was satisfied. From then on they were asked to dwell on the image daily and especially when making important decisions. ‘Will X bring be closer or farther from the image?’ Obviously a preponderance of constructive thoughts, words and actions would bring them closer to the life they desired.” — WokeUp2

“95 percent of what we do is heart. 5 percent is skill. I don’t think I’m the world’s best psychologist, but I’ve had clients tell me they can tell how much I care and how much of my heart I put into my work. I also happen to love what I do, so that helps.” — azpsych

“Very little about you is original as we’re constantly repeating patterns we’ve learned since childhood. When humans find a solution, no matter how maladaptive it turns out to be in the long run, we stubbornly keep trying it over and over and over… turns out it’s more comfortable to stick with the devil you know than to risk fear, failure, and vulnerability by trying it a new way, even if the new way is logically better. The subconscious is a much greater force than most of us can fathom or care to admit.” — petits_doigts

“I think the most important thing I learned is what it truly means to listen to someone. It’s pretty hard to explain, but it’s not simply understanding the meaning of the words spoken, but listening to how the person gives meaning to what they are speaking.” — Mapeben

“I learned that people are more decent and more resilient that I had previously thought. That suffering is part of the human condition, and it is not unusual for people to experience depression or anxiety problems at some point in their life. That someone’s distress about their problem doesn’t necessarily correlate with how big that problem objectively looks to others. That in order to benefit from therapy people need to have the humility and curiosity to try something different, to try thinking and behaving differently.” — miareadsit