Read This If You’re Going Through A Weird Phase In Life

Everyone goes through a weird phase in life—every once in a while. One that they hadn’t foreseen. But that’s life. Yet, here’s what I know for sure—it changes us in more ways than one and puts us on a journey of healing, even though we may not consciously realize it.

The 13th-century Sufi mystic and Persian poet Rumi once said, “The wound is the place where the light enters you”. On that note, below are a few paragraphs you might want to read if you are going through a weird phase in life or have gone through one in the past. Perhaps it can help you—now or in the future. Or give you some solace?

You decide your worth—validation has to be internal first.

Take some time to mull over this. How many times have you sought validation from other people, and how many times have you let other people decide your worth? Probably all your life. But don’t you think you have to validate yourself first? Internal self-validation occurs when you stop condemning or blaming yourself. It involves not judging yourself or how you are feeling and just letting yourself feel. Your thoughts, emotions, feelings, and opinions matter. Your voice matters. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

And know yourself—don’t let other people paint a picture of who they think you are, and project it onto you. I love quotes (as you can tell), so here’s another one by Beyoncé: “Your self-worth is determined by YOU. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you who you are.” You define your worth. It does not matter what other people think of you. If you know who you are and if you know your intentions have been pure, that is more than enough. So know who you are first and be clear about your intentions. Stop looking for external validation and validate yourself.

Some people are like rancid pieces of meat

Recently, I came across a video on YouTube which said something along the lines that there are some narcissists in the world who are like rancid pieces of meat with flies and maggots around them. You wouldn’t taste a rancid piece of meat, would you? So when someone tries to make you feel bad about yourself and unworthy, it’s more likely that they are projecting their hurt, jealousy, and hate onto you. And though you get triggered and want to respond or hurt them back, it’s better you don’t. Oh yes, that takes an insane amount of self-control!

You don’t have to engage with them in any way. They are just projecting and would go to any extent to make you feel wrong and unworthy—but you don’t have to feel that way when you clearly know what happened or what your intentions have been. You know your worth. The reality is that you are extremely worthy! Think of this the next time someone behaves in a vile way with you and you are triggered to be vile with them too. Don’t taste a rancid piece of meat!

It’s sort of essential to confront and overcome fear and anxiety.

Even though you may not believe it or feel like it, some forces are beyond you and beyond what you can understand. They are protecting you. You are guided and protected. But you can only be protected so much while you hold so much fear of the future in your heart. While every little thing puts you into a spiral of anxiety. It’s time you do something about it. 

For starters, know that your mind is creating a story. If I were to ask you, “What if it all works out in your favor?” you’d probably counter me by saying that’s just a lie. But hey, don’t you think the question “What if everything goes wrong?” is also just a lie? Both these scenarios are imaginary—and fiction of the mind. 

So tell yourself a different story. Write down what is truly in your control and what isn’t and start focusing only on what you can control. Stop living in fear of the unknown. I know, it’s easier said than done, and I don’t get it right most of the time. But what you can do is start seeing how your mind is creating stories and scenarios and know that you don’t have to believe it all the time. You don’t have to get consumed by it. You have a choice and you can choose to believe in positive things. Bounce back. Don’t let your fear and anxiety block your protection and blessings.

It’s largely a perspective game.

When someone said that life is 90% how you react to it, they weren’t joking. Yes, bad things happen. Good things happen too. But how do you take them? What’s your perspective? Do you accept the reality, learn from it, and move forward, or do you spend months resisting it and getting stuck in it? Do you feed positive or negative thoughts and emotions within you? Whatever you feed grows. What are you feeding?

Here’s another quote (the last one, I promise!). It’s by Ratan Tata—Indian industrialist, philanthropist, Tata Trusts Chairman and Tata Sons Chairman Emeritus: “None can destroy iron but its own rust can. Likewise, none can destroy a person but his own mindset can.” He said it ages ago, and he got it right. It all starts in your mind. 

Yes, one can’t deny that all the things that happened to you or were done to you have resulted in a lot of trauma, and thinking differently about them can’t be a substitute for healing your trauma and doing the inner work. Or going to therapy. I’m not trivializing or generalizing anyone’s suffering, I’m just empathizing and offering a few words of comfort. This is how you can start the journey—the rest of it is for you to shape on your own and with a little help from others. 

Lastly, know that it’s OKAY to go through a weird phase in life, and it’s normal. Even time and again. It will pass! Use it as fuel for your growth. Like Rumi said, decide to turn your wounds into wisdom—and let the light enter you!