Read This If You’re Worried Post-Grad Life Will Never Live Up To College

Ahhh, college. 

A four-year party dedicated to experimentation, a taste of independence, and the stepping stone to be endured before starting “your real life.” 

Well, that was nothing what my college experience was like. Instead of guaranteed life-long friends and stupid boy mistakes, I got crippling mental health and the reality of leaving everything you thought you knew before. Life changes, your perception shifts, and the safety bubble you grew up in pops—no, explodes. And losing all the stability and support you knew all your life tends to put a damper on parties and football games.

But that’s not what this is about. 

My college career recently ended and while my past self from two years ago was overwhelmed with anxiety about the moment I had to go out into the real-world as a so-called “adult” (which is absolute crap because a college degree does not magically transform you into a fully functioning human), I must say that the past couple weeks have been the most refreshing, the most liberating, and the most purposeful I have felt in a very long time. 

So, this is a message to all my friends in high school or college, friends that are drifting with fear that they have a life with no purpose, friends that are lost or confused or aimless while crumbling under the pressures of school (or anything else) and have no way out. It does get better. I hope.

While most people are talking about the best four years of their lives and the downhill spiral that follows those years after college, years full of responsibility and bills and aging, no one talks about the satisfaction and pride that comes with the freedom you get when you are finally in a place to create the life you want. 

The truth is, yes after college, everything is up to you. Life arises with big questions about where to live, where to work, how to effectively spend money, and how to maintain quality relationships. Life succumbs to a whole new set of complications. Yet being faced with these new questions and getting to decide them in your own way with the luxury of building your life in any way you want in any direction is exactly that—a luxury. I think people forget too often how fulfilling and purposeful it is to be able to build your life in this way. A clean slate. A fresh start. 

This shows up in all areas of your life. I have never been so fulfilled sitting in my apartment post-college knowing I found and bought my own room furniture for the first time. That I picked out what bed sheets I wanted (or the cutest ones that came at the cheapest price) and decorated with my own decor. That I went to Target and bought storage and supplies and organized it in the way I wanted. I have never been so fulfilled by a job search when I’m not following the neatly mapped-out track of my college major or carrying the weight of expectations that professors expect of me. Instead, I am in control and get to decide where I want to be and what I want to be doing, and if anything, this demands a need for intentionality and purpose that outweighs any sort of stress that might come with the uncertainty. I have never been more fulfilled by my relationships because they are the relationships I choose, not tolerate simply based on convenience or my environment. I have never been fulfilled by my down time where I get to fill my days reading books that I choose, baking cookies every night, and letting my body and mind choose where it wants to go.

And this new life of purpose-driven decisions and fulfillment out of building a life from the ground up, this is something that my past self never saw coming. My past self that was riddled in fear for the future because she saw more change, more isolation, and more stress rather than freedom, control, and opportunities. All I could think was “If I can’t even survive college, how am I EVER going to survive in the real world?” And the truth I know now is that all the confusion, the uncertainty, and all the anxiety you currently face never stays the same. What comes to replace the space those issues once held are new beginnings and new chances to rebuild.

So to anyone feeling like they’re lost or aimless, start a little task that fills you with pride. Create something that you can look at and say, “I did that.” Anchor yourself down to your own creations, ones that no one can take away from you. 

For me, I have a long journey ahead of figuring out what’s next and overcoming what stands in the way of allowing me to pursue a life that is authentically my own. But at least at the end of it, I can look around and marvel at the tiniest details of life that I crafted. I can revel in the accomplishment of taking action and doing what’s best for me. And that through everything, the power lies within me to be the agent in constructing my own life, no matter what that looks like. And I hope you realize it does for you too.