We Build A Wall To Protect Ourselves
“The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keep out the joy.” — Jim Rohn
Do you know you possess one of the greatest superpowers that can heal and transform your life? I realize I’m making a big statement here, but stay with me as I explain this further. This superpower exists within and you needn’t sign up to a monthly subscription to discover its inherent energy. What it requires is learning how to associate with this superpower to bring forth its innate wisdom.
Allow me to give you some background on why I’m convinced of this truth. Some time ago, I caught up with my kinesiologist who has a background in psychotherapy and Polyvagal theory, which is based on three organizing principles of the nervous system (Hierarchy, Neuroception, and Co-regulation) of healing trauma. I make it a practice to visit her if I sense I’m holding on to any limiting beliefs. In the session, I told her that when I was young, I did not feel seen or heard by others. Therefore, she invited me to connect with the emotions of anger and resistance, which she felt were attributed to these feelings.
Is this something you’ve experienced in your relationships? It’s the sense that others don’t acknowledge you authentically. I felt the same dynamic play out throughout my adult life, whether it was through intimate relationships, family members, or friends. She asked me to imagine how this feeling appeared in my mind and where it was situated in my body. The feelings were in my torso, where I pictured a stainless-steel basin occupying the area. The basin was empty, signifying the metaphysical relationship of not being heard or seen—empty and bare. She invited me to go deeper into these feelings, which was followed by a remarkable vision. I saw an image of the most breath-taking pink flower that multiplied and overflowed the basin. In that moment, I was flooded with a sense of self-love that reminded me of my greatest strength.
While I was in this state recalling images and sensations, I received the following messages: “Tony, self-love is your strength.” This presence then invited me to “Lighten the load,” meaning stop carrying the burden of your problems and let them go. To be clear, I wasn’t channeling but connecting with the deepest wisdom within me. Like many people, we build a wall to protect ourselves from getting hurt during traumatic events in our life. In my case, the image I saw in my mind was of a medieval knight’s armor, replete with full metal costume protecting me. You see, when I was young, I created a mental image of a knight’s armor to protect me from getting hurt. I enjoyed knight’s tales and read widely about them rescuing people from their assailants. I believed the armor was my strength back then because of my emotional wounds. However, the loving presence was reminding me that self-love was my greatest superpower, and there was no longer a need to protect myself. I was overcome with a radiating flow of love throughout my entire body with the image of flowers overflowing the basin. It was a reminder that self-love, not resistance or self-protection, is our healing agent.
Bathe Ourselves In Our Superpower
“When you let love become your superpower, you open yourself up to a miraculous life.” ― Kris Franken
Here’s the thing: it’s natural we armor up to protect ourselves when we experience pain or trauma. No one is immune from being hurt, and because of our emotional life, we are bound to experience sadness, rejection, anger, and disappointment. Naturally, we create a defense to safeguard our heart from being hurt. It makes sense we respond this way because it is a primitive mechanism to keep us safe. Our mind and body are doing what our biology has intended us to do: protect us until it is safe to process our pain. But what if, in doing so, we don’t undertake the journey of healing our pain or trauma? What if we continue to armor up without processing our wounds? What if our greatest superpower is self-love, not adding more layers of protection? How do you feel about this? Could you entertain the idea that self-love is your true protector, your guardian and safe keeper?
If you consider the metaphysical relationship of armor, it is thick, strong, rigid and impenetrable. While it protects and defends us from getting hurt, it prevents us from truly healing because the armor stops us taking risks and leaning into life with an open and courageous heart. Therefore, self-love is the superpower we need to heal our life and transform our wounds. Self-love is the essence of who we are. Love is the spirit of our core nature as human beings.
Therefore, by drawing on self-love, we bathe ourselves in our superpower, which is self-giving and self-serving. This superpower never runs out, no matter whether we experience trauma, pain, or guilt. It is always available, even during our darkest hour or hour of uncertainty. Knowing this, you might be thinking: “How do I call upon this superpower?” Working with a trained mental-health therapist is a sensible choice for those who have experienced childhood trauma. The therapist will teach you how to re-parent yourself by being compassionate when you experience sadness, anger, or other negative emotions. These states are a call to activate your superpower, to transform your pain. Therefore, when you experience negative emotions, put on your superpower suit of self-love, self-compassion, and self-forgiveness to heal your inner child.
It requires coming home to yourself regularly and sitting with your negative emotions instead of dismissing them or drowning them with alcohol, drugs, or other forms of escapism. Are you willing to try it? Could you give yourself the gift of sitting with your emotions when you are angry, sad, disappointed, etc.? I realize it’s a practice many people ignore because life is difficult, and who has time to sit with their negative emotions? But if we don’t undertake this practice, we neglect the beautiful inner child, which will create a defense to protect itself. It believes it will get hurt and is triggered when it feels unsafe. This inner child is calling out to be seen, to be heard, and bathed in love. After all, if self-love is your greatest superpower, isn’t it time you let it transform your life in ways you never thought imaginable?