Subtle Signs They Haven’t Actually Forgiven You
Everyone makes mistakes, but if you want to be in a healthy relationship with someone, you need to be able to move past those mistakes. If your partner can’t get over something you’ve done to them in the past, then the relationship is never going to work out. Here are a few signs that your partner still hasn’t forgiven you and that it could spell doom for your relationship:
They bring it up during every single fight.
It doesn’t matter what they do to upset you. Whenever they hurt your feelings, they act like it’s not a big deal compared to the horrible thing that you’ve done to them in the past. During every single argument, they bring up this single mistake that you’ve made. They always throw it back in your face when it’s convenient. It’s a way for them to feel superior to you. For them to feel like treating you wrong is warranted because you’ve done way worse things in the past.
They keep expecting you to make it up to them.
If you mess up, it’s your responsibility to apologize and set things right. But there should be a time limit on their anger. If it’s been years and they’re still expecting you to grovel at their feet and spoil you rotten in order to make up for what you’ve done, then maybe your mistake should have caused a breakup instead. After all, if they’re not able to get over this problem after all this time, they’re never going to get over it. It doesn’t matter what you do. They’re always going to be annoyed with you and distrust you – and a relationship isn’t going to work if that’s the way they feel.
They won’t drop the subject.
They keep bringing up the thing that you’ve done to them and how hurt they were by you. Maybe they’ll act like they’re joking. Maybe they’ll retell the story to family and friends who haven’t heard. Or maybe they’ll casually mention it when you thought you were having a nice day together. Either way, they can’t get it off of their mind because it hurt them that badly, because they still haven’t healed from what happened. Maybe you need to give them more time and prove to them that you aren’t going to hurt them again – or maybe you already crossed an unforgivable boundary. Maybe there’s no recovering from this, no matter how hard you try.
They are acting icy cold toward you.
It might take some time for things to return to normal after you make a big mistake. Or maybe things will never be exactly the same again. But your partner shouldn’t be completely disrespecting you and making you feel like shit. If they’re calling you names and cursing you out and reminding you what a horrible partner you are on a daily basis, then you’re probably not right for each other. It doesn’t matter how big or small your mistake was, because if they aren’t able to overcome their anger at you, you aren’t going to be happy together. There’s always going to be tension. There’s always going to be resentment and regret.