Okay. By now, most of us know the problems with only receiving the bare minimum in relationships. We know it’s the least amount of work necessary to maintain a partnership. We know the bare minimum isn’t impressive or attractive. We know that the bare minimum isn’t enough and that we deserve better from our partners. And yet, many of us still can’t find more than bare minimum men despite this knowledge.
It seems there is a disconnect between understanding we deserve more and actually finding it. But what is the reason for this dissonance? And how can we bridge the gap between settling for bare minimum men and finding people who are actually worth our time?
This is where the biggest issue with the bare minimum resides: most men don’t want to do more than the bare minimum. Seriously, read any TikTok comment section of any creator daring to challenge men to rise to the occasion. For example, in a TikTok created by a creator named Ashlee discussing how women are fed up and over bare minimum men and want more, comments looked like this in response:
They deflect, they get defensive, they victim blame, and they decry feminism. They take these calls to action so personally. And honestly? Maybe they should. Because it seems to apply to them. If the shoe fits, as they say!
The truth of the matter is that many men don’t want to do more than the bare minimum because the way things have gone has seemingly worked out in their favor thus far. And they’re pissed about it. But the other side of that truth is that toxic masculinity doesn’t just hurt women. It hurts us all, men included.
The big challenge is going to be showing men that they are both capable of doing better and how doing better benefits them as well. Because, otherwise, they’re going to end up alone. And women? We’ll be just fine without them.