Courtney Kammers

The Reality Check Every Love Language Needs To Hear Right Now

Words of Affirmation

You aren’t needy for wanting to know how people feel about you. You’ve been told you’re too much sometimes, but here’s the deal: You’re only “too much” to people who are incapable of voicing their feelings. That means that you might be surrounding yourself with people who avoid feelings at all cost. Try as you might, you can’t just magically make people want to talk to you. So either live with the fact that your needs won’t get met (kiss spontaneous “I love you” texts goodbye) or do yourself the ultimate favor of getting rid of anyone who doesn’t fill that void.

Quality Time

Your idea of “quality” might be different from other people. Some lackluster lovers will hear “quality time” and assume that sitting on the couch to binge Stranger Things is enough to get to your heart. But it isn’t just sitting in close proximity that scratches that itch, huh? It’s doing actual activities you love, of sharing those activities with your partner. Don’t let your partner gaslight you into thinking that a couch potato relationship is fulfilling your needs.

Receiving Gifts

Gifts can mean a lot of things, so don’t get greedy now. Cartier is great, but remember it’s the thought that counts. You don’t want your partner to go into debt just because you have a thing for receiving gifts. If you won’t accept anything less than expensive store-bought purchases and fancy name brands, your love language isn’t “receiving gifts”–it’s being a sugar baby.

Acts of Service

There’s a fine line between doing something for a partner and being their live-in maid and butler. You’re dangerously close to having a serious relationship imbalance. Don’t just sit back and bask in leisure while your partner waits on you. What are you doing in this relationship? Are you meeting their needs? Are you catering to their love language, too? Because meeting every “I’m too tired to make your breakfast this morning” with “but it’s my love language” is not chill at all.

Physical Touch

Despite physical touch being your love language, that doesn’t mean bodily autonomy is out the window. Don’t forget consent. Of all the love languages, this is the one that most crucially needs a partner who’s also down with touch. You shouldn’t be accepting near-constant physical contact from someone who’s just doing it “because they love you.” This is one where you want enthusiastic consent or nothing at all.