The Truth About Cheaters (And Whether They’ll Cheat Again)

Cheating is one of the worst things you can do to another person. But some people will do it once, while others will do it over and over again with no hope of stopping. Here are some real people sharing their opinions on whether once a cheater, always a cheater is true:

“For any type of human behavior, if they have ever done it, then they are more likely to do it again than someone who hasn’t done it (assuming all else is equal.) And the longer ago it’s been since they did it, the better chance that they won’t do it again. It applies to cheating. It applies to violent behavior. It applies to proclivity to spontaneously dance in public.” — mattsprofile

“If someone has been a serial cheater as an adult, I think it’s reasonable to assume they are always going to be a cheater. But if someone cheated when they were a teenager and hasn’t since, or if they cheated in some very specific set of circumstances (I know someone who cheated on an abusive spouse after like 12 years and multiple attempts to leave him, that’s not a GOOD thing to do of course but I think it came more from a place of subconsciously making sure that she would actually leave than ‘being a person who is a cheater’), then I don’t think it’s a foregone conclusion that they will cheat again.” — listenyall

“I think someone can mess up once, mend their ways, and never do it again. But if someone has cheated in every relationship they’ve ever been in, that’s not a good sign.” — Hrekires

“I believe people can improve and become better, but I’m a firm believer that no one is obligated to remain present for that growth while it occurs or help foster it. If you want to invest emotionally into a person who admits they’ve cheated in the past, you take the risk that it will rear its ugly head again in your relationship as well. For me, that risk is already a violation of trust to the point that I don’t think I would treat them in a healthy or fair way, because I would be concerned about their proclivity to cheat and may judge them unfairly for it.” — PCoda

“I’m not defending cheaters at all. Not one bit. But ‘once a cheater always a cheater’ relies on the basis that people can’t change and become better versions of themselves, and that people shouldn’t be forgiven for past transgressions if they truly learned from their past. That’s an absolutely stupid and disgusting way to think. It’s downright toxic. That being said, habitual cheaters are scum. I believe in second chances, not third chances.” — Valkyrie64Ryan

“I think there are two ways to think about cheaters. First is, if someone cheats, are they going to cheat again? But the bigger question is, once someone cheats, are you ever going to be able to see them as anything other than a cheater? I.e. every time they aren’t near you, you question if they are being loyal?” — a_man_has_a_name

“If I catch someone cheating, I don’t 100% know this person WILL cheat again, but I now know that someone is morally capable of it. And that’s an obvious dealbreaker.” — RedditMcBurger

“In a technical sense once a cheater, always a cheater is not true, people can change. In a practical sense it’s true enough, some people don’t deserve the chance to change.” — Justa_little_wrath

“Cheaters won’t always cheat again, but it tends to happen more often than not. I’ve known a few serial cheaters and in both cases they regularly blamed their behaviours on their partners and also didn’t feel much remorse for their actions (a little guilt yes, but only so much as it was only a minor inconvinience to their consciences overal ability to cheat). And I think that these 2 factors more than anything else predict a cheaters likelihood of re-offending; their sense of personal accountability/responsibility over their actions, and their sense of guilt (and if either or both aren’t 100%, then their chances of re-offending are basically also 100%).” — Creative_Recover

“Monogamy isn’t for everyone. But that fact shouldn’t excuse cheating either. If you’re not monogamous, be honest to people! If that you means you have less sex than you want to because someone you want to sleep with requires commitment, just let it be and don’t sleep with them!” — YossiTheWizard