These Green Flags Can Turn Into Red Flags Over Time

Sometimes, you’ll enjoy certain aspects of a person’s personality early on in the relationship – but you won’t feel the same later on. Here are some green flags that could easily turn into red flags over time:

“Someone who is too nice. It sounds good in theory, but usually it means the communication is going to be very poor because they don’t want to say or do anything upsetting.” — FrogginBullfish_

“Workaholics. I was attracted to the ambition these men had and admired their drive. I had several relationships with such men, but looking back those were all versions of the same relationship. The admiration faded into loneliness while the relationship slowly imploded. Now I recognize that ambition and drive are not limited to work goals. I’m much happier with someone who prioritizes love, friends and relationships.” — Enchiridion5

“Positivity. Life is hard enough without people constantly invalidating our feelings and minimizing our traumas.” — sillynamestuffhere

“I thought someone being self-aware about their issues was a green flag. But I only got half of it right. The real green flag is that they are self-aware about their issues, and are taking steps to improve.” — sevencoves

“I used to think men who were super close to their moms were sweet. Turns out my exes just never learned to buy their own socks or set up doctor appointments.” — missVicissitude

“I had a partner tell me she was obsessed with me. She was never possessive. She was never manipulative. But she always told me she was obsessed with me. Then one time it became ‘I’m worried you’re too good for me.’ I should’ve known to have a frank conversation with her then and there. When someone puts you on that kind of a pedestal, there’s only one way to go… down. And I know because I have been the one who thought they weren’t good enough in two relationships and no matter what the other person did, the insecurity persisted.” — LooseJuice_RD

“All I want is to be with you. I had a ringside seat to a friend’s divorce in which that was all one partner could really bring to the table. No goals, no passions, no hobbies, no independent friends. Man, it looks unbelievably smothering to be the only interest in someone’s life. The other partner had to supply pretty much every idea, activity, or sense of purpose for both of them.” — Terpsichorean_Wombat

“Independence. Sounds like a really positive word, right? Of course it can be, but some people use it as code for: ‘I’m emotionally unavailable to you and always will be because I’m afraid of intimacy. I have entered into an solemn lifelong commitment to to tell myself that my deep-seated fear of emotional connection and intimacy is actually just me being independent. I will never do anything about this such as get therapy. If somehow I’m dragged to therapy and the therapist says one negative word about my independence I will immediately leave and/or studiously ignore them.’” — soundproofbooth

“I’m a go with the flow kinda person. Turns out that’s code for, ‘If it’s stressful, boring, or makes me have to work hard, I won’t put in the effort even for something that matters to you.’ Try building a partnership and life with THAT.” — kylehydes

“Being comfortable in making fun of each other. That can easily become a habit and hurt your partner without you noticing.” — theonlyjambo