They Are In The Past For A Reason

I find myself thinking about all the loves I’ve had in this life — the ones I had to let go of in order to grow, the ones who held me back from growing, the ones who broke me in ways I didn’t think was possible, the ones who spent more time ruining me than loving me.

I think of the one with the laugh and how badly I wish I could hear it now, especially on the days I need some light. I daydream about the one who I talked for hours with about the new book he’s reading or some of my favorite songs. I wonder about the one with the addictions, if he’s doing okay now and if he’s thinking of me too.

I look back on all the small moments I shared with him: the softness to his eyes looking at me in the morning, the way he would stretch his limbs out to kiss me good morning. I think about the coffee he made me and the bottles of wine we shared, the movies we used to watch together, the songs we used to sing together in the shower.

When I find myself thinking about the old loves I’ve had in this life, I let myself feel whatever it is I feel. I don’t push away the thoughts of them because I know it’s okay to think about them from time to time.

They were someone important to me at one point in this life, someone who I once shared beautiful moments with, someone who made me who I am today — and that is something to be grateful for.

If you, too, find yourself thinking about the loves you’ve had, try not to get lost in that thinking, especially the what-ifs. It’s okay to miss them. It’s okay to miss what you shared with them. Whatever you’re thinking of — just don’t let it consume you. Don’t let these thoughts take control of your feelings. Don’t second guess where you are now or who you’re with or if you made the right decision.

Think of these loves as people who you were meant to know and love at one point in time, but that’s it. They are in the past for a reason. Remember that.