To Anyone Who’s Afraid Of Growing Up

I recently turned 20. And even though my teenage years had their fair share of drama and stress, it terrified me to leave them forever. Turning 20 was about more than just being alive for two decades—it felt like an irreversible spell that meant more anxiety-provoking responsibilities, with no way to turn back.

Through many conversations with friends, I’ve learned I’m not the only one who dreaded the big 20. For all 2002 babies, the last two years of teenagehood were practically erased due to the pandemic, so it still feels like we’re in our mid-teens. Plus, it’s always a bit sudden and unnerving to get older, regardless of what age you are. Older people constantly tell us to savor our childhood at all costs—so when we continue growing, well aware of this warning, it’s naturally scary. 

Over the past few months, I’ve realized most of my concerns with growing up have come from being scared of change and the unknown. These fears only grow when there’s no turning back from the incoming adjustment—it’s not like moving or starting a new job, situations you can exit if necessary. There’s no stopping adulthood, and that causes even more stress for those who fear change. To top it all off, it’s not like getting older has gotten the best reputation. From ageism to countless reminders to “savor your youth,” older people love to tell us how lucky we are to be young.

So, to my fellow 20-somethings who are afraid of getting older: I feel you. But despite what everyone says about the increasing challenges as you age, there are plenty of positive ways to view it. I mean, there’s a reason why we all longed to be “grown-ups” as kids.

It’s true that getting older comes with many responsibilities—some of which may not be so exciting—but that also means countless new opportunities. For college students, adulthood means finally being able to put all that education to good use and making a difference in any way you choose. It means finding your own place to live and doing whatever you want with your free time. Basically, growing up means gaining freedoms you aren’t offered as a kid or teen.

And I know a lot of the fear may also come from not feeling prepared for the many challenges that inevitably occur as you grow up. (Full disclosure: I could not tell you a single thing about taxes.) But remember that one key part of young adulthood is that nobody knows what the hell they’re doing. It’s all part of the fun: figuring things out along the way. Being young is all about making mistakes and learning from them—and that doesn’t stop when you’re out of college. 

Think of the 20s as a sweet spot in between childhood and full-fledged adulthood. It allows you to work on yourself, build your career, and form new connections—all while still being young enough to spend your weekends going out and having fun. And given this new outlook, I’m now happy to finally be 20, contrary to my former hesitance. I’m excited to move onto bigger and better things than being a teenager (no offense, teens), and I’m thrilled to be continuing my personal growth into a new decade. Hasta la vista, teenage years—I hope I don’t miss you.