What To Do If They’re Breadcrumbing You, According To A Therapist
You think your relationship is going well, but you start to feel your partner–or the person you’re in the talking stage with–pulling away. They don’t text you as much as you text them. They break plans at the last minute. They’re closed-off emotionally. They make you feel like you’re way more into this than they are. I’m sorry to say it, but they’re breakcrumbing you. If you want to try to make this work anyway, a therapist released a TikTok on what to do if they’re breadcrumbing you.
With 2 million TikTok followers, TherapyJeff (aka @therapyjeff) has become the voice of dating and relationships. He recently gave some advice on what to do if you’re being breadcrumbed, which you can watch below. While my advice would be to just stop talking to this person (save yourself anymore heartache), you may not feel ready to let go. In that case, give Jeff’s advice a try. Here’s what he says to do:
1. Be super upfront about how you feel strung along.
Don’t hide how you’re feeling. Don’t say something like, “oh, it’s no big deal,” when they break plans or use a lame excuse for why they haven’t been texting. If you’re bothered by the breadcrumbing and you want to make one last ditch effort to make this work, speak your mind.
2. Tell them exactly what you need.
Time to set some boundaries! Tell them exactly the kind of relationship you need. How does that look to you? What kind of message frequency do you need? How much participation in the relationship? Be specific and lay it all out for them. That way, there’s no way they can use a misunderstanding to get away with their lackluster behavior.
3. Tell them there’ll be weekly check-ins about the breadcrumbing behavior.
TherapyJeff suggests checking in weekly to see if the behavior has improved. In my non-expert opinion, I would look at this more as check-ins with yourself rather than with the breadcrumbing partner. Are you still happy? Did they keep up their end of the bargain? Because, if not, it’s definitely time to check out of this relationship and find someone who truly appreciates you–and isn’t afraid to show it.
What do you think? Would you put in this last burst of effort to stay with someone who’s breadcrumbing you? Or is it time to just cut and run?