Brandon Woelfel

Whatever You Do, Please Don’t Settle In Love

Please, don’t settle in love.

You deserve more than what you’ve been given and you deserve more than what you’ve accepted.

Here’s a tough pill to swallow: when you settle in love, you ultimately abandon yourself. This self-abandonment is cruel. It’s a coping mechanism that stems from self-doubt, low self-esteem, trauma, and a desire to please others.

When you settle in love, you keep yourself small. You fear that you are too much and you are asking for too much. But that’s not true — the way they love you just isn’t enough.

When you settle in love, you tend to look at your relationship through rose-colored glasses. You ignore the signs that your partner isn’t truly giving you what you want or need.

So, whatever you do, please don’t settle in love.

It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself and feel ashamed for accepting anything less, for believing that small love was all you were worth. It’s okay to be angry at them for not giving you more. Some people can’t love the way you love and can’t give the way you give–and that’s okay too. That just means they’re not meant to hold your heart.

As agonizing as it will be to have to let them go, it is ultimately the kindest thing you can do for yourself. You have to understand what you are worth and make space in your life for people who actually treat you with the kindness, love, grace, and respect you deserve. You have to learn how to give yourself the love you gave them.

Please, don’t settle in love. Don’t settle for a love that isn’t fulfilling your needs, that isn’t white-hot with passion, and that doesn’t make you feel seen and heard. You deserve so much more.