Let’s be real. Sometimes inner work can be exhausting, confusing, and overwhelming. Our minds have a tendency to overcomplicate things by making up stories just as we’re deconstructing the old ones. There’s never truly a time when we can say, “AHA! I made it! I’m healed now.” Inner work is truly a journey, and if you’re feeling frustrated or overwhelmed by your mind, this is what I suggest.
The best thing to do when inner work gets complicated is to simplify it.
I’ve been asking myself these two questions ever since last week, when I was feeling creatively blocked and overwhelmed with balancing my business, my self-care, and my relationships.
So, yes, I can promise you that these questions are expert tested and perfectionist approved. Grab your pen and paper, love, and give yourself some time to sink your heart into these words.
1. How are you doing?
Easy. Simple. We hear it all of the time. But how often do we ask ourselves?
If you’re a person who feels deeply, you likely spend lots of time and energy making sure everyone around you is doing okay. If you’re a people pleaser, you likely take care of everything outside of you before turning inward. So, allow me to cut you a break for a moment and ask you:
How are you doing?
What are you doing today?
Any fun plans this weekend that excite you?
Take some time to check in with yourself—like really check in. Ask yourself as if a friend were asking you about your life over coffee. Allow yourself to be seen and witnessed by you in the simplest of ways. This simple check in allows you to slow down, pause, and take a breath.
This next question goes a little deeper.
2. How is the Work going?
Yes, how is the capital W “Work” going? The inner work. The deep, feelsy stuff.
Are you feeling balanced these days?
What are you going through?
Similarly, what are you growing through?
Allow yourself to simply witness these answers with a heaping amount of self-compassion. You don’t have to “do” anything. You don’t have to “fix” anything. This is about being where you are.
Holding space for yourself in this simple, powerful way is an easy way to relieve overwhelm and stress.
A Quick Tip
As helpful as it is to practice things like yoga, meditation, or attend a three-hour full moon ritual on Zoom, remember that these are simply tools. It is the moments where we can get quiet with ourselves, that we can truly see what’s going on inside (and outside) of us.
There is no “right” or “wrong” way to be. We don’t need to overcomplicate this. And we don’t need to pay anyone to do our self-care work. We can ask ourselves these simple questions and tap into our hearts at any given moment.
My Invitation To You
I found that asking these questions gave me an opportunity to stop during my busy days and take a breath. This alone allowed me to gain more clarity about what was going on inside of me and make intentional choices from there.
Answering these questions for myself also allowed me to shift out of my people pleasing tendencies and pay attention to ME so I could fully show up for things like my business tasks, my clients, my friends, and my family.
If these two questions are helpful, I invite you to make it a goal to ask and answer them for yourself once per day.
You can put your own spin on it and create a magical ritual or you can simply ask and answer them in your head.
Either way, I guarantee you’ll see a shift. Life just feels better when we can approach our internal world from a place of gentle witnessing.
Regardless if you use these questions or not, remember that self-care is accessible at any moment. Creating mini practices like this invites a shift by simply holding space for YOU.
You are worthy of a life that feels well-balanced.
You are worthy of having clarity and feeling seen.
When the going gets tough, and when the internal waves get bumpy, you have an opportunity to take a pause—and this pause doesn’t have to look any particular way. Personal growth is not a linear journey. Remember to tread gently.
You are so loved and supported.