When You Focus On Yourself, A Whole Lot Of People Are Going To Be Mad

When you focus on yourself, a whole lot of people are going to be upset. They’re going to hiss through their teeth that you’re being selfish. They’re going to claim that you’ve changed because they don’t have your attention anymore. They insist that you’re not the loving person they once knew.

And in a sense, they’re right. Sometimes you grow to better align with your path. Other times, it’s not that you’ve made a significant change; it’s that you’ve decided to focus more on yourself. People throw a fit when you’re not the version of yourself they want you to be. It takes time to accept that you’re not available to answer every call, listen to their problems for hours on end, and cater to most of their needs. You’re stretched beyond your emotional capacity. You have no empathy left to give. 

It would be different if you received similar attention and compassion to compensate for your burnout. But you don’t. Typically this isn’t a problem because you’re efficient at self-soothing. However, the moment you decide to put your needs first, to comfort and ground yourself, people can’t seem to handle it.

At first, you feel upset. Alone. You think about how much of yourself you’ve given. But you also realize that nobody else is responsible for managing your emotions or time. As much as we need each other, this era of life also calls for more resilience.

When you focus on yourself, you’re going to lose a whole lot of friends. No matter how much explaining you do. Needing time with your emotions doesn’t matter to some people. Temporarily needing to focus on that new business, project, or educational pursuit will be a problem for some people. As soon as the focus isn’t on them, they’re out.

When you focus on yourself, you’re going to lose a whole lot of family. They’re going to say that you’re inconsiderate, rude, and disrespectful. They’re going to have family meetings about “what to do” with you. They’re going to bring up every favor they’ve ever done for you. They’re going to vent about how you should be grateful, and how “it’s a damn shame.”

When you focus on yourself, a whole lot of people are going to be mad. People want what’s best for you through the lens of their eyes. People are attached to how you make them feel and how you ease their distress. People want you to succeed, only to the limit of what’s comfortable for them. 

When you focus on yourself, it might appear that you’ve lost. But really, you accumulate. More peace, more autonomy, more focus. More freedom.

This isolation isn’t what you wanted. You value relationships and strive to maintain connections. You’re often misunderstood, but you’re starting to affirm that you don’t need to be. A whole lot of people are mad because you’re focusing on yourself. This is how you grow. Those meant for your path will be right there with you along the way.