Maksim Goncharenok

When You Want Love But Won’t Stop Getting In Your Own Way

I want to be loved. I want someone to look at me like Iโ€™m the greatest thing that ever happened to them. I want to be someoneโ€™s safe space, I want them to seek me for comfort because no one else can ease their mind better than me. I want to be someoneโ€™s lightโ€”when theyโ€™re stuck in the dark they walk towards me to see again. I want to be someoneโ€™s happy placeโ€”they want to share great things with me first. I want someone to miss me so much it hurts.ย 

The problem is, I wonโ€™t let anyone love me. I wonโ€™t let anyone in far enough to be all of those things. My walls are built solid around the part of my heart that holds the title โ€˜Significant Otherโ€™. Itโ€™s damn near impenetrable. Because if I become all of those things to someone, what if they leave? I canโ€™t hardly fathom the idea of picking up the pieces of another heartbreak and putting myself back together again. I canโ€™t imagine letting someone in so far, and then it ends. I canโ€™t imagine sitting and crying on the bathroom floor wondering what I couldโ€™ve done differently for it to work out.ย 

Basically, Iโ€™m in my own way. Iโ€™m in the way of me being loved. There are people that have shown me theyโ€™ll love me correctly, but I wonโ€™t let them. I wonโ€™t let them because of other people who hurt me before them. I wonโ€™t let them because of the feeling that comes with loss and disappointment. So I make small, fleeting connections, and as soon as I hear or feel the love coming in, I run away. Itโ€™s easier to turn away for me than it is to be loved.ย 

Maybe one day I wonโ€™t run. But I know that one day is far off in the distance. Because I know Iโ€™m not ready to get out of my own way.ย