Julia Caesar

When You’re Feeling Insecure Before A Date, Read This

I know how you’re feeling. I’ve been there. Heck, I’m there every time I’m getting ready for a first date. The nerves are high, your thoughts are spiraling. You’re worried they won’t like you. That they’ll complain that you don’t match your pictures. That they’ll take one look at you and run. You’re suddenly second-guessing all of your interests, your hair, your job, your personal anecdotes. Here’s your little reminder that it’s normal to feel nervous and insecure before a date, but you’ve got this. Before you go on your date, remember this:

Your date is nervous, too. With your nerves on high, it might feel like you’re the only one in the world who’s feeling this so strongly. I promise you, that’s not true. They’re most likely standing in front of their own mirror, questioning every decision they’ve made. They’re worrying you won’t like them. They’re second-guessing their entire personality. While this knowledge may not make you any less nervous, it’s at least comforting to know that someone could be this nervous and excited to meet you.

You deserve love. Don’t let the intrusive thoughts win. The insecure voice in your head is the enemy. It tells you that all the little loveable things about you are actually your downfall. And when they’re added up, it means that you don’t deserve the love you’re hoping for. You don’t deserve an amazing date with a great person, it says. Always remember that the insecure voice isn’t your friend. Don’t make decisions based on what it says.

You’re a hot commodity. You’re awesome! Repeat that to yourself: “I’m awesome.” Counteract some of that negative self-talk by going in the other direction. List some great things about yourself that a date might love. Go in on your personality, your looks, how you treat people. Let’s focus on what makes you hot stuff, and not any of the things you don’t like about yourself. Everyone has negatives. Why bother highlighting them?

Don’t put all of your eggs in this basket. Part of the immense insecurity you feel right now is because you’re putting a ton of pressure on this one date. Sure, they might be your soulmate. Or they just might be a random stepping stone to a future that they have no part of. Try your damnedest not to treat this like a super big deal. I know that’s easier said than done, but taking some of that pressure off will make it a lot easier for you to just relax and have a good time.

Okay, now go on that date feeling like the mildly insecure badass that you are. You’ve got this!