Why So Many Good People Are In Bad Relationships

Unfortunately, the nicest people don’t always get what they deserve. Here are a few common reasons why good people stay in bad relationships, even though they could do so much better:

“I think it’s insecurity. Insecurity in that somehow they think that they absolutely cannot do better than this. And fear of going it alone and perhaps having to give up luxuries like always having someone to do stuff with. In relationships like this, there is usually (but not always) emotional abuse going on. Whether it’s subtle or not, there is something keeping it together. And it’s usually low self-esteem. Think about it – the only reason to stick with someone awful is if you think you don’t deserve any better.” — kitteh_skillz

“Because we’re taught that if we’re not with someone that our lives are incomplete, unfulfilled, and unsatisfying. Fuck that.” — chtrchtr_pussyeater

“Because they get comfortable and are afraid of change.” — tallandlanky

“Because they feel like it’s better than being alone.” — ansermachin

“If you ask people in bad relationships, you will most likely hear something along the lines of ‘but we’ve been together for so long already.’ Bullshit. If the time someone spends with another person in a relationship is filled with so many bad memories and all the crap neither of them deserve yet settle for, then it’s really doing no good. They also make excuses like ‘everyone has their flaws’ and think thats a good enough reason to stay with someone who continuously hurts you and makes you have to ask yourself why you’re even with that person. Such a shame.” — queekabroni

“The way I seem to look at it, most people are taught that they need to get married and start a family otherwise they have failed at life. The push from society here is to start a family, not necessarily to find love. Most couples I see, I would describe as more ‘mates’ than lovers, they see some desirable traits in their SO that is beneficial to them in some way in relation to starting a family or living a certain lifestyle and they pair up together to fulfill their goal.” — mcmur

“Because they don’t want certain people (parents) to be right about the partner. Especially when you’re younger. The more your parents hate someone, the more attractive they appear.” — [deleted]

“A lot of people are lonely and when they do find someone and that someone has some flaws, many people will try to ignore them in the hope they (the flaws) go away or have the rough edges sanded off through familiarity and time. I was like that when I was younger and what I learned was that doesn’t happen. If you’re with an SO who has flaws that rub you the wrong way now when it’s just the two of you in a semi-serious relationship, that shit’s only going to get worse when you get married or have kids linking you.” — [deleted]

“There are a small number of people that feel for whatever reason they deserve to be treated badly, so they move from one bad relationship to the next.” — MorrigansRaven

“A lot of us seem to subject ourselves to unhealthy and even abusive relationships. For me, I realized that it’s because I grew up in a home where my mother was abused and controlled. A ‘healthy’ relationship to me was a guy who didn’t hit me. It took me a long time to realize that my standards were waaaaay off.” — Palmzlike86

“I think people are nice when they first start relationships, but eventually they get used to the other person being there and start to take them for granted, and then they turn into complete jerks. Meantime the other person has this emotional connection to that person, and remembers them as this nice loving person that they once were, and they can’t just let go of that. So it’s not that people have such terrible partners, it’s that partners become terrible after a time because they take that person’s presence as a given.” — [deleted]