Loving someone does not guarantee you’ll be together, and that’s one of the greatest disappointments of all time.
It makes you wonder, if you can love so deeply, why would any circumstance stop you from having a future with each other? The truth is, loving someone you can’t be with isn’t a sign of failure. Loving someone you can’t be with doesn’t mean you need to try harder. You’ve already sacrificed your mental health. You can love someone yet need to let them go.
You can love someone yet be incompatible. You can love someone while your beliefs, lifestyle, and world views are misaligned just enough to make the relationship fall apart. You can love someone while they mistreat you. You can love someone as they give you the bare minimum. You can love someone as you watch them make poor life decisions over and over again. You can love someone while they push you away. You can love someone while yearning for a deeper connection. You can love someone as they love someone else.
Ultimately, loving alone is not enough to build the foundations of a relationship. Your partner has to love themselves enough to pursue the relationship on their own. They need coping skills to navigate difficult conversations and conflicts. They have to acknowledge the areas of their life that need change and seek help without you pressuring them to do so. And that is why you can love someone with all your heart yet still need to let them go.
I understand why you’re desperately holding on. You’re holding on because you can’t picture being with anyone else. You’re holding on because you don’t want anyone else. You’re holding on because you don’t want to give up on people like how others gave up on you. You don’t want to hear that someone better will come along. You don’t want to give love more time. You just want to be with the person you have right now. That’s it.
You must let go. You must release your grip on people who cannot show up for you. You are only hurting yourself. You must let go of people who weigh you down. You must let go of the person making you question your worth and causing emotional turmoil. You must let go of the person making every nervous fiber in your body vibrate out of balance. You must let go of always thinking that you have to be the strongest just because you’re strong. You must let go. Holding on to the hope that “one day they will change” doesn’t mean they will any time soon.
Letting go doesn’t have to be goodbye forever. Sometimes it’s “maybe I’ll see you on the other side.” Sometimes it’s “I need time to figure it out without you.” Sometimes it’s “I’m hurting so much that I can’t fathom being with you right now.”
You can love someone yet need to let them go. I promise you that you will survive. Letting go doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten the memories. Letting go doesn’t mean you’ve given up. Letting go doesn’t mean love is lost. Letting go doesn’t mean you’re unworthy or that you’ll never love again. Letting go is about you and for you. Letting go is telling yourself the truth and accepting what has already happened. Letting go is about finding healthy coping habits to make it through another day until the pain and repetitive thoughts are not so all-consuming.
Letting go is a reminder that there is still life, and you still matter. There’s no love lost and more to be found. You can love someone yet need to let them go.