Your Worst Breakup Is One That Didn’t End Bitterly (Life Just Got In The Way)

Sometimes life gets in the way.

Sometimes two people are just not meant for one another.

There is nothing easy or soft about letting go of someone you love — even if you have to, even if it’s for the best.

When you first realize the breakup is coming, there will be bartering with the Universe. You will do everything in your power to keep each other close. Maybe you both try to communicate more (or less). Maybe you both make more of an effort. Whatever is done, sometimes it just isn’t enough — and that is the toughest pill to swallow.

Eventually, though, you will reach the point of acceptance. You will surrender to the inevitable of having to let each other and letting your love go with it.

At first, it might all feel a bit like nothing. You will be sad and hurt, but that ache isn’t agonizing yet. There’s numbness. There’s dissociation.

One day it will hit you. The grief. This ache will be so intense and so burdening and it just might be unlike any other sadness you’ve felt before. Breakups are tough, but let’s be honest — it’s easier to let go of someone when they’ve hurt you or done something wrong. But a breakup that didn’t end bitterly, life just got in the way — that’s a different kind of pain.

Grieving your relationship will be exhausting. The sadness will hit you out of nowhere: opening a window, in the shower, in the car, on a train, in the grocery store. You will find yourself crying often. You will start to feel the anger swelling in your throat, too — the anger that this had to happen for you two.

Life will then start to look and feel quite different. You will start to make coffee for one. You will learn to fall asleep in the middle of the bed. You will have to stop yourself from calling them when you have news, when you’re bored, when you’re on your way home, when you just want to hear their voice. You will have to create a new space and tuck away reminders of them, like photos and t-shirts. You will realize how lonely this all is. You will remove their friends and family from your life, just as they’re probably doing too. You will try to make sense of what happened and why it had to happen.

The anger, the sadness, the grief — all of this will take up a lot of space in your body.

One day it will feel lighter and you will feel okay. Until then, it’s only ache.