Zodiac Signs Ranked From Impulsive/Flakey To Rock Solid
1. CAPRICORN
(December 22 – January 19)
You are impetuous, fickle, and flaky. Sometimes you are even a little thoughtless. You are the emotional equivalent of Mark Twain’s famous quote: “If you don’t like the weather in New England right now, just wait five minutes.” If someone doesn’t like your mood or opinions right now, all they have to do is wait five minutes. Just like you think there’s no point in making the bed if you’re going to sleep in it again tonight, you don’t see any point in making up your mind if you’re going to change it later. You are a promiscuous daredevil, which is why it’s exciting to be around you—so exciting, it often becomes terrifying.
2. SCORPIO
(October 23 – November 21)
The only thing predictable about you is your unpredictability. You are highly given to flights of fancy like a leaf being blown around by the winds of change. A shameless trend-follower, you change social identities like you’re switching costumes: A new relationship, a new haircut, a new career, a new religion, a new worldview. You often talk of wanting to live like a wandering hippie…and this is a “plan” to you. You don’t see the irony in the fact that you can’t really “plan” to have no plans. You need to get off of that roller coaster you call a life and start walking, slowly and steadily, in the direction of a concrete goal.
3. LIBRA
(September 23 – October 22)
Dearest Libra, your Scales are not balanced; in fact, they’re tilted strongly in the direction of “flighty.” It’s not that you have a problem making decisions. You have a problem sticking with those decisions. You are erratic, temperamental, and, no, I’m not afraid to say it, sometimes a little bit scatterbrained. You don’t know what you want, and even if you did, you wouldn’t know how to get it. I don’t think the problem’s going to solve itself, nor do I think you have the innate focus or willpower to solve it. You need to surround yourself with some stable friends to slowly guide your ship to harbor before it sinks.
4. SAGITTARIUS
(November 22 – December 21)
You’re more afraid of being bored than you are of death. You don’t realize that a life filled with chaos can also become dull and tedious. It can weigh you down and render you incapable of flight—which means you can’t be flighty, either. You hate consistency and often quote Ralph Waldo Emerson’s “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.” But you misinterpret what he said—he wasn’t against consistency, only the foolish kind. There’s no point in being mercurial, volatile, whimsical, haphazard, and generally wobbly if you don’t balance it with some wise consistency. I’m talking about things such as, oh, a roof over your head. A steady income stream. Reliable friends and lovers. Sure, it’s fun to go skinny-dipping in the lake in the middle of the night, but you’re going to drown one day if you don’t wear a life preserver.
5. LEO
(July 23 – August 22)
You have a strange but winning way of balancing flightiness with stability, of juggling risks with rewards. You’re the type who will only visit a casino once all your bills have been paid—and even when you gamble, you will always hedge your bets. You aren’t against random hook ups so long as a condom is used. You would definitely opt for a pharmaceutical from a doctor over anything illegal. You’ll order that slice of coconut cake for dessert so long as you jog an extra two miles in the morning. You’ll watch a scary movie so long as you can be assured of a happy ending. Most of the others on this list could benefit from learning how you do things.
6. AQUARIUS
(January 19 – February 18)
You have a split personality when it comes to the flighty/stable continuum: You’re steady in business decisions and an absolute mess in your personal life. You meticulously, and very successfully, plotted your education, career, and investments. But your love life and friendships are rife with instability. One side of your life is filled with IRAs, stock options, and 401(k)s; the other side is pockmarked with rehab, restraining orders, and STD tests. You need to learn how to balance work and fun. Find that happy medium—it’s out there, I swear.
7. TAURUS
(April 20 – May 20)
You are stuck somewhere between flightiness and stability like that infamously flightless bird, the dodo. The net result is that instead of staying put or taking flight, you simply waddle around, flapping your useless wings. You’re an anomaly on this list because you’re impossible to pigeonhole. You go through long phases of flightiness. Those phases are, by necessity, followed by long phrases of stability. You stay stable for so long that it becomes boring, which leads you down a path of flightiness. Acting flighty inevitably causes all sorts of problems, which leads you back to stability. Just when it seems like you’re an impenetrable mountain of stability, another volcano blows. It’s an endless loop.
8. PISCES
(February 19 – March 20)
You are wildly impetuous in love but staunchly stable otherwise. Nearly all of the bad decisions you’ve made in life have involved romance. You would never make a financial decision that carried the slightest degree of risk, but you’ll choose one lover after the next and dive in deep with your eyes closed every time, even though you know you’re going to wind up with a broken heart again. It’s almost as if your heart and brain are at war. If you were celibate, you’d be the most stable person on the planet. Problem is, you’re not celibate.
9. ARIES
(March 21 – April 19)
You are an intriguing mix of flightiness and stability. You grew up in turbulent circumstances, and as a result of this, your guitar strings will always be tuned just a little bit off-key. You’ll always carry a tiny bit of chaos around in your bones—it’s understandable and nothing to be ashamed of. But growing up in the midst of a hurricane, you learned how to become the eye of that storm. You formed emotional stability to deal with an unstable world. You take care of your basic needs before your basic desires. You are a living, breathing example of the triumph of order over chaos.
10. GEMINI
(May 21 – June 20)
Although the Twins are usually locked in a life-or-death struggle that could go either way depending on the topic, in this case it’s no contest—the stable Twin easily wins the match against the flighty Twin. You see the big picture and don’t get hung-up on trivialities. You never miss the forest for the trees and don’t get easily sidetracked. Abiding, poised, stalwart, and dependable, you are fundamentally averse to risk-taking. If anything, you are perhaps too stable for your own good. Sometimes it’s beneficial to throw caution to the wind and roll the dice. Sometimes, just like a tiny bit of spice can salvage a bland meal, a little bit of risk-taking can make you feel alive.
11. VIRGO
(August 23 – September 22)
Virgos are judicious in every choice they make. This is your main problem, which is obsessive perfectionism. You are so cautious that you hardly ever take risks. And it goes beyond risk-taking; you’re even a little shy about making simple decisions. You wait so long to make a foolproof decision that you wind up looking like a fool. You rely too much on logic and hardly ever on instinct. Every once in a while, you should try trusting your guts over your brain. You won’t regret it.
12. CANCER
(June 21 – July 22)
You’re a rock. Look up “rock” in the dictionary, and there’s a picture of you. Steadfast and sturdy, you are the tortoise to Capricorn’s hare. You are the spiritual heir of Yoda and the Buddha. You radiate a calm sense of serenity that never for a moment comes off as arrogant or above-it-all. You rarely change your mind because you take you take your time, weigh all the options, and make the best decision the first time around. There are three things that are certain in life: Death, taxes, and you.