15 Relationship Saving Tips For Engaged Couples From Old Married Couples

You should enjoy the time that you spend engaged – but make sure you get ready for married life. Here are a few key pieces of advice for engaged couples from happily married couples:

“Someone once told me, ‘Once you get married your wife becomes your family and your family become your relatives.’ Really helped me through any stressful family gatherings, knowing we had each other’s backs, being our own team.” — johnthestarr

“Anger is neither a reason nor an excuse for bad behavior. You will get angry, you will fight, but you should never insult, indulge in name-calling, throw things, or hit them. If you cannot or choose not to control what comes out of your mouth when you are angry work on that first, get married second.” — questfor17

“The point of arguing is not to win, it is to understand where they’re coming from and why this issue matters to them.” — Manateebae

“If you can do a little thing to make your spouse’s day better/life easier, do it. Bring them coffee. Buy that cheese they like. Remember to set up their favorite shows to record. Grand gestures are great, but little things daily remind each other why you’re together.” — noizangel

“Be prepared to date each other forever. The second you stop courting each other, it all falls apart. No reason to not go on one date a week just the two of you.” — [deleted]

“Gratitude is key. This sounds easy, but let me explain. The key is that gratitude is not a balancing test. Don’t just be grateful the ‘extra’ things your spouse does, be grateful for every.single.thing. If you shop for food, then prep it, cook it, then clear the table, then load the dishwasher, then clean all the pots and pans – and then later your spouse empties the dishwasher, thank them for doing that, and feel it. To me, this is a hard thing for people to do, and it is such a huge part of the happiness in marriage. It leads to a feedback loop of appreciation for the little things as well as the big. It makes it more likely that your spouse will appreciate you and (unless you married a terrible person) far more likely that they will do more. You will also see more of the things they do. This isn’t just ‘stuff,’ but anything. Grateful for listening, for sharing, for sitting on the couch, for having your child etc. etc.” — Snuffleupagus03

“Shared goals (including finances, kids, careers, etc) are more important than shared hobbies.” — [deleted]

“The only thing that will keep you together is the persistence of simply staying together in the face of all the boredom, pain, and troubles that will come. You will be bored. You will be in pain, and your relationship will be in trouble. During the bad times you literally have to just say, how are we going to work this out?” — Chora_and_Kairos

“Assume nothing. Your spouse is not in your brain, cannot read your mind and cannot interpret passive aggressiveness with the intent that you’re trying to deliver.” – TMG1053

“You are your own self. When you’ve been together a long while, it’s easy for all your hobbies, interests, values, and beliefs to become exactly the same. That doesn’t mean you aren’t entitled to do things for yourself or have a differing opinion. Have at least one ‘thing’ that is your thing to keep yourself sane and interesting.” — CityoftheMoon17

“If you have any doubts DO NOT GO THROUGH WITN THE WEDDING IT WILL GET WORSE.” — bravo45

“Discuss finances. Once married you take on each other’s debts and responsibilities. It’s important to know what those are before the wedding. Finances are one of, if not the, biggest reasons for failed marriages, so get on the same page early and stay there.” — Ounceofwhiskey

“Your spouse is not responsible for your happiness and you are not responsible for your spouse’s happiness.” — TMG1053

“Don’t cheat. There is pretty much no coming back from that. Something will always be lost.” — martinencinal0002

“Cake toppers for a wedding cost well over a hundred dollars. Salt and pepper shakers cost significantly less, are usually the same size and weight, and come in pairs. We wanted animals. I found a fox and raccoon for $11, then we added a tiny white ribbon for her veil and a tiny blue flower for my boutonniere, and we attached them with hot glue for total accessory cost $3, TOTAL cost of toppers $14.” — keytar_gyro