Thought Catalog Agency

4 Concrete Signs They’re A Lesson (Not Your Soulmate)

Some people are meant to love us, some people are meant to teach us, and some incredibly special people known as soulmates are able to do a little bit of both. That said, it can be hard to know who is your soulmate and who is merely a lesson. As such, here are four important signs they’re a lesson (not your soulmate).

1. They’re constantly bringing out the parts of yourself you try and hide away.

For example, maybe they ignite your impulsive side or invite your jealous tendencies to the surface. Usually, you have these traits under wraps but for some reason, this person has a unique ability to bring out the worst in you. They know exactly how to push your buttons and also seem to really enjoy doing so. This shows they’re a lesson and not a soulmate because the right person wouldn’t intentionally bring you down. Instead, they’d lift you up and encourage you to do better.

2. You feel anxious when you’re not around them.

When you’re together, it’s almost intoxicating. Your chemistry is palpable and you really do have so much fun together. When you’re apart, you’re in a literal hell. You’re constantly checking your phone to see if they texted you or called you. You are consumed with the fear that they’re going to find someone better. Basically, you don’t trust them and it makes you feel totally unhinged.

3. They reopen old wounds and trigger your insecurities.

Essentially, they reveal which parts of you are still in need of healing. For example, maybe they are the type of partner who loves on a conditional basis and this reminds you of past partners. Or perhaps they only give you the bare minimum and this makes you feel insecure because you’re afraid this is all you’re ever going to receive. Whatever the wound may be, this relationship is going to show you how important it is to do the work to heal it.

4. Deep down, you know they’re not here to stay.

In other words, something just feels off. You can’t put your finger on it, but you know deep down that they are not the right person for you long-term. But you also know that you met for a reason. In time, you’ll understand what that reason is. But for now, you are along for the ride and ready to learn what you need to from them.