6 Concrete Signs It’s Not Your Trust Issues (It’s Him)
If you’ve been hurt by exes in the past, it can be hard to determine whether your current partner is actually acting inappropriately or whether you are dealing with lingering baggage. Here are some concrete signs it’s not your trust issues, it’s the person that you’re dating:
You’ve caught them in lies one too many times.
You can’t establish trust with someone who refuses to be transparent with you. It doesn’t matter whether they were lying about something big or small because the fact that they’re comfortable deceiving you is a red flag. While no one is perfect, your partner shouldn’t get into the habit of withholding information from you or looking you in your eyes and lying. You need open communication in order to make the relationship last. You need to be able to trust what they’re saying is true.
They refuse to give you a straight answer to any question.
Your person shouldn’t be vague when you ask them how they’re doing or how they’re spending their weekend. It’s not nosy of you to want to know what’s going on in your partner’s life, especially once you’re official. If they act overly mysterious and refuse to let you in, even a little, then it’s not your fault for being sketched out.
They flirt with other people directly in front of you.
Some people are naturally flirtatious, but you don’t want to be with someone who is a huge flirt if you’re uncomfortable with that type of behavior. Their playful banter doesn’t make them a bad person – but it does make them a bad match for you. Your trust issues aren’t the problem here. Your compatibility is.
They have a bad habit of breaking promises.
It’s hard to put your faith in someone who has proven they’re unable to stick to their word, who has shown you that they aren’t to be trusted. If your partner has failed to follow through on promises time and time again, then it’s natural for you to doubt their intentions moving forward. It’s not your fault that you’re having trouble connecting to someone who isn’t being one hundred percent honest with you.
They won’t give you reassurance when you’re feeling self-conscious.
No one wants to be accused of cheating – but if you are feeling self-conscious in the relationship, then your person should ease your fears. They should remind you how much they care about you and reassure you that they aren’t going anywhere. If they get overly defensive or annoyed with you for having doubts, then those doubts will only grow.
They are clingy when it comes to their phone.
Your partner shouldn’t be flipping their phone upside down whenever you enter the room. They shouldn’t have the device set to airplane mode and bring it with them wherever they go to the bathroom so you never have the chance to spot who’s texting them. They shouldn’t be making you feel like they have something to hide. Of course, they don’t have to give you full access to their personal items – but if they’re not even letting you near their phone, it’s not your imagination. It’s them.